* * * * * * * Does that just look like the perfect parade photo? Eating a snow cone standing along the street? I love it.
Aaron Jr, Sophie, Sue, Malia, Grace, Suzie
Darci, Kerianne, Bode, Leslie They were sitting across the street from us.
Steve, Isaac, Pearl, Susie, Sophie
Isaac needed something to lean against, so I guess I was good for that. :) It was so cute. He sat there leaning against my back for a while. Sweet boy.
Grace, Susie, Aaron Jr, Pearl, Sophie, Sue, Malia
Am I am mean mom to secretly take this photo of Aaron Jr crying so hard? He was so sad that he didn't get a piece of candy that was thrown. :) But Grace is so sweet, she handed it to him after he cried like this.
This was him a few minutes later when he saw this guy dressed up as a Wendy's Frosty.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At church in Aaron Jr's class, they gave them cups with dirt in them and the kids planted seeds. Well, we brought it home and we continued to water it and when it was big enough, we planted it in Grandpa's garden. This pea pod is what came off of Aaron Jr's pea plant. Grandpa picked it for us and saved it to give to Aaron Jr.
The lesson that goes along with planting a seed is just like the title of this posting... Faith is like a little seed. If planted, it will grow.
Aaron Jr. showing off the fruit of his labor.
An amazing promise when it comes to having faith:
'And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.
But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.
But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow.
And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.
Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.
And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.
And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.
O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?
Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.
And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.'
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Aaron Jr and Leslie We went to the Kaysville Parade with Steve and Sue and Nick and Sadie and their family. Here are some photos from the day.
Every year at the end of that parade, HUGE water trucks drive down the parade route and shoot water out at the crowds. Some people get really into it and bring their own water guns and it becomes a huge water fight. Then we all had a barbeque at Nick and Sadie's house, then we let the kids swim, and us adults had a water fight. Then we went on a bike ride. It was a really fun day.
That night, Lori and Scott and their family called to see if we wanted to come to their house to watch them do fireworks. So, my mom, Aaron Jr. and I went over there. It was a fun night. This is the crew that put on the fireworks show for us. :)
It was a fun filled 4th of July. Thanks to everyone who made it a wonderful day and gave us wonderful memories.
* * * * This is just a venting post... no need to try to lift me, I am not fishing for compliments or anything... I just needed to share some thoughts, feelings, and emotions. :)
I have been very emotional today. I don't know exactly what has been on my mind to set me off, but I am just having some emotions that I haven't felt for a while. It has been a while since I wrote about a bad day, but I need an outlet and since it is the middle of the night, my blog is where I do it.I have been stressed lately. I won't say why, but I have been feeling stressed and overwhelmed and like I can't breathe. I think reflecting on the changes that have come to our lives and the things that will continue to be different than we had planned, I am having a difficult few days. There have been several things going on lately that have kindof forced me to remember and think about the night that Aaron passed away as well. That has also been cause for difficulty. I have broken down numerous times in the last 12 hours and I feel like my eyes are puffy and red. I am not even understanding my feelings right now, so putting them into words is not working out so well.
I have been reflecting on my role as a mother a lot lately and after just sitting and reading a blog entry by my sister Lisa, it made me super emotional all over again. The past year and a half, I have tried so hard to be a good mom, while still trying to figure out the grieving process for us both. I know I fall short ... daily, but there is nothing I want more than to show Aaron Jr the love and attention that he deserves and needs. I want to protect him and help him become the man that he is intended to be. He is my world.
There are times throughout the days when I lose my patience because he is making a mess in the same spot where I just cleaned up; or I put him off when he so desperately wants me to come and play with him. I always end up feeling horrible, but then I do it again and again. As I sit here feeling the weight of guilt on my shoulders tonight and crying tears of regret... again, I am realizing AGAIN that...
It is just the two of us... if not me, then who?
This sweet boy has been my hero through all of this. I want both of us to be happy, but for sure, I want him to be happy even when I am not. We are getting there... slowly... but we are getting there. Aaron Jr has such a tender heart. He doesn't like to see me sad. He likes to hold my hand when we are sitting watching a show, or when we are laying down to go to sleep. Last night, he came over while I was laying down and he kissed my cheek. It was so sweet. He really is such a strength to me.
I love this boy so much and I hope I am the mother that he needs me to be... someday.
I am trying to catch up on blog postings... so here goes. At the beginning of July, Aaron Jr and I went with Kerianne and her sons Brighton and Bode to the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point. Here are some photos from that day.
Some of their 'hands on' experiences there.
Leslie, Aaron Jr /// Kerianne, Brighton, Bode
Kerianne, Brighton, Bode, Leslie, Aaron Jr.
Kerianne and Leslie
I could not be more grateful that I met Kerianne the first day of Biology as sophomores in high school. I am blessed to have some wonderful friends. If you want to see what a best friend looks like, take a good look at Kerianne. She has been like a sister to me. The evening that Aaron passed away, each new member of the family who showed up and their reaction to the news will always stay in my mind. Everyone was being so supportive of each other and I will always be so grateful to each and every member of our families for being there to offer love and share in the grief. As I sit here thinking about Kerianne, I thought I would share the experience of when she came to the hospital. My sister Lisa called Kerianne to tell her the news. Even though there was so much family there, I think Lisa knew that I needed Kerianne there. I had been sitting next to Aaron's body and we were all ushered out of the room as they waited for the medical examiner to come. As I walked out of the room, there were relatives to greet us with hugs and tears, but after that, I was just standing outside of the room wondering what I was going to do. I felt so lost and alone. I looked down the hallway to my left and there was Kerianne. She was crying and had this look on her face that I wish I could describe, but it is clear in my mind and forever will be. It was a look that had so much emotion. It was the type of look that you don't even have to know what they are thinking... you can tell what they are thinking and feeling from what their face is showing. She was slowly moving towards where I was, but when I saw her, I lost it again and ran to her. We hugged and we both cried so hard. I remember when her dad had passed away several years ago, she called me to tell me and I drove as fast as I could to her house and when I got there, we hugged and cried. The police officer in charge of Aaron's room saw Kerianne and I outside of the room still when other people had walked to the waiting room. He asked if we wanted to see Aaron one more time. So Kerianne and I went in. Then she knew just what I needed when she said she would wait outside for me so that I could say one more goodbye on my own. This past year and a half since Aaron passed away, Kerianne has been the friend I go to when I need a friend to talk to, to vent to, and to cry to. I hope I am that friend for her as well. I am truly grateful for you, Kerianne. You are a blessing in my life. I love you. * * *
* * * * Hi all... I got to see more of the photos from the photo session with Sara Boulter. If you are interested, here are the directions to see the images.
* * * * * * * * * * * * I sing this song (You Are My Sunshine) to Aaron Jr all the time. I thought it was appropriate to have it playing during this posting... especially when you see the photos...
Back in December, I got an email from a girl named Lily. She told me that she reads my blog and that she had nominated me for a contest and that I had won. She said I would be receiving an email from someone named Sara Boulter and she wanted to make sure I knew it wasn't junk mail because the email would be telling me that I had won a gift.
Later that day, I did receive an email from Sara Boulter telling me that I had been nominated in a contest she was doing on her photography website and that she had chosen me as the winner.
Click HERE to see her posting on her site about the contest.
Click HERE to see her announcement about who she picked as the winner.
After she emailed me, she asked when I would want to get our photos done. I told her that I love outdoor shots, so maybe we could wait for good weather and do it then.
Well, after a long and wet spring, we finally made connections and got together last week with Sara so she could take our photos. We went to Wheeler Farm in Salt Lake and it was a beautiful setting. We felt so comfortable there and she put us at ease. I am not used to being the subject of a photo shoot. I am used to taking photos of people doing random fun things, but actually being the subject of a photo shoot... it was a little awkward at first. Sara made us feel so natural and comfortable and I am so grateful to her. It was such a neat experience.
I want to thank Lily (you know who you are) for nominating us. We have never met, but somehow our story touched her heart and she thought about us when she saw this contest. Lily, thank you so much. I am grateful for whatever words you used to touch the heart of Sara. It was so thoughtful of you and these photos will be treasures forever.
I want to thank Sara for her kindness and generosity. This was a special gift that will be priceless to me. Meeting you was a neat experience and I felt as though you are a very special person. You are an amazing photographer and I am grateful for this experience to actually BE the subject of a photo shoot with my precious son, Aaron Jr.
Click HERE to see just a few of the photos that Sara took that day.
These are all I have seen so far, but I am excited to see the rest. I am grateful to have this time of our lives documented... of course we would have preferred to have Aaron here with us in our family photos. We miss him so much. But right now, it is JUST THE TWO OF US...
Sara and Lily... thank you, thank you, and million times THANK YOU.
* * *
Click HERE to see Sara Boulter's Photography website.
* * * * * * * I was going through some things today and found this quote that I scribbled out on a scrap paper several years ago... it is just such great advice for all of us when we need extra help and support.
"Commune with the Lord, He is your best friend! He knows your pain because he has felt it for you already. He is ready to carry that burden. Trust Him enough to place it at His feet and allow Him to carry it for you. Then you can have your anguish replaced with His peace, in the very depths of your soul." -Elder Dallin H. Oaks
I want to thank all of you who have left messages on here and showed love and support in many ways. I am grateful for all of my friends throughout the world. Thank you.
Now, onto our June festivities...
One of these things does not belong here. Can you find it?Aaron Jr. put the Windex in the freezer. Don't ask me why. I laughed so hard.
Grandma Sue and Aaron Jr.
We went with Tawnie and Sam to the Gateway in Salt Lake. The boys had fun in the water. It is such a fun place for kids.
We were at my parents house one night and I walked out the side door and this scene is what was right in front of me. I had to grab my camera. It was SO amazing and beautiful. That is the Bountiful Temple. In mid June, our family reunion was at a place in Idaho called Harris Pond. The Harris's are family and they let us come and use their facilities to have our Higginson Family Reunion up there. It was such a great place. There was so much to do. Canoeing was a favorite of Aaron Jr.'s. This is me with Aaron Jr.
There was a zipline that went the whole length of the pond about 30 feet in the air.This is me with my brother Mark.
There was also a canon that they shot bags of candy out of. It was so much fun. It was fun watching the kids scramble for the candy and it was funny to see the adults scramble for the candy. The mom's who scrambled were mostly scrambling to get their kids MORE candy. That is what I did.
in the paddle boat.
Aaron Jr. rowing a canoe all over the pond by himself. I was amazed watching him for those two days. I was grateful that he was so good about wearing his life jacket. He never complained.
Aaron Jr. is the one in the canoe. He was pulling that big floating trampoline around the whole pond. SO funny.
Aaron Jr. in canoes with lots of different people. He couldn't get enough.Top: Brian, Vaugh, Aaron Jr.Middle: Caroline, Luke , Samuel, Aaron Jr.Bottom: Caroline, Aaron Jr, Luke, Benjamin, Spencer
John, Stella, Aaron Jr, and Benjamin on the barrel raft.
Aaron Jr. wanted to go down the water slide, so his cousin agreed to take him. The third photo shows how much Aaron Jr. enjoyed it. He was clinging for dear life to his cousin.Bottom right photo is Stella, Benny, Aaron Jr.
There was such good food. For dinner on Friday night, we had burgers and hot dogs. They were so good with all of the fixins. Later that night, two of my brothers put their chefs hats on and they made deluxe crepes for everyone. Then in the morning, we had pancakes, eggs, and sausage and bacon. Mmmmm... For lunch, it was yummy sandwiches with chips. PERFECT camping food all weekend. YUM YUM YUM!!! Top left: Mark and Spencer Top right: Richard and Robert Bottom left: Uncle David, Dad, Richard, John, Bottom right: Aaron Jr enjoying the good eats.
Random photos of Aaron Jr. and one of me. This is how I looked all weekend. My camera was attached to my arm. I got so many great shots, and wish they would all fit here, but they don't. :)In two of the photos, Aaron Jr is playing around the mound where the rope swing is. He never attempted that, of course. :)
We have a tradition at our family reunions to do races. Each age group has their own race and then everyone gets candy afterwards for participating. The kids love it. This is Aaron Jr's race. He started, then turned around, then started again... which put him coming in last, but that is okay.
As you can see, he thought it was a blast running to me at the finish line. :)
There were lots of races, but I just included those of Aaron Jr's and mine. Lots of the grown ups get into the races still, which is great... but I like to jog just for the participation factor. I like to get the candy for running. Thanks to Tawnie for jogging with me. We tied for last place. BUT we had a great time. :)
One of the more fun activities going on was the HUGE, TALL swing that went out over the water. These are photos of my parents each on the swing.
It was the funnest part for me. The guys were grab our legs and propel us with all of their might to get us as high as possible. We were going SO high. It was so much fun. It was definitely a rush.
This is the last photo taken with my camera. Me with Aaron Jr. I wanted a photo of how beautiful the pond was. I wish you could see the whole thing. It was double this size. The Harris family created this pond and all of the activities there. It is such a fun place and I am so grateful that we got to go there and enjoy it.
Some roses Aaron Jr brought into the house for me.
After the reunion ended, Spencer and Kristi and their family came to Utah for a week before heading back up to Oregon. It was so much fun having them here, as always.These are some shots of Aaron Jr with a few cousins.Top left: Aaron Jr and Lily watching TV.Top right: Aaron Jr and Luke watching TV. They have so much fun together. They are both wearing the chair's arm covers on their heads. They make me laugh.Bottom left: Aaron Jr and Luke playing in the gutter water after the rain was done.Bottom right: this is the first time Aaron Jr has asked to hold a baby. This is Lila, Aaron Jr, and Luke (with his signature popeye smile). Lila was not enjoying this. :)
More gutter fun. Spencer, Aaron Jr, Luke, Benny
Sadie and Nick invited Aaron Jr to do swimming lessons with their kids.
Top left: Grace jumping into the water.
Top right: Pearl with her swimming teacher.
Bottom left: Aaron Jr on the floating board.
Bottom right: Aaron Jr. jumping to his swimming teacher.
Ava, Sophia, Isaac, Malia all waiting for swimming lessons to be done.
Aaron Jr with his teacher. These photos make it seem like he did well in the swimming lessons, but it was like pulling teeth to get him to go into the water with the teachers. Aaron Jr wanted to just go into the kiddie pool the whole time. The few days we went, he spent a total of about 20 minutes with his teachers. :) Oh well, better luck next year.Thanks Nick and Sadie!!!
One of the days they were here, some of us girls went shopping for a couple of hours. This is what we returned to. SO funny. Spencer, Benny, Aaron Jr, and Luke
Getting ready to head back to Oregon. Spencer, Benny, Aaron Jr, Luke, Zach (another cousin who came to say good bye)
The Oregonians. We love and miss them so much. Spencer, Kristi, Spencer, Luke, Benjamin, Lila
This was on Father's Day. While most of us were in the house visiting, some of the kids had overheard me talking about Aaron. This is what was found out on the grass a few minutes later. These kids were all sitting in a circle with a box of kleenex telling stories and memories about Uncle Aaron. They were all sobbing. One of the kids said to someone 'Aaron Jr thinks his Dad is at work'. Aaron Jr does answer the question of where is his Daddy with the answer 'my Dad's at work' most of the time. It is always so sweet and heartbreaking... but it really hit these kids hard. They were all heartbroken again. Love you kids and we all miss Uncle Aaron. Thank you for missing him with us.
My friend Chandra came out from Colorado with her family. These are a few photos of us with them. Leslie, Chandra, Aaron Jr, Gabriella, and Hunter
Aaron Jr and I came upon a horse parade going on in the town we live in. We had to stop and join in the festivities. One horse peed for a really long time right in front of us. I had to move over because it was like a river coming towards us. Then another horse bucked up right in front of us and the owner was trying to restrain it and it bucked up so high, the horse went over backwards and landed on its back. It was about 15 feet from us and it was scary. Exciting times at a small town parade. :)
Aaron Jr fell asleep in the car clutching the 'things' he was obsessed with that day. He gets obsessed with new things every day that he has to hold and sometimes sleep with.
Self explanatory photo. Mmmmm...
Aaron Jr and his best friend Ode right before his hair cut.
Ode, Aaron Jr, and me (Leslie) in our back yard. AFTER Ode's hair cut. He is so old and gray. :(
This is Mehmet. He is from Turkey and was here as a foreign exchange student that lived with my sister and her family during school. He was my nephew's best friend as well, so they had fun living together. He went back to Turkey last month and we had a surprise going away party for him. This is Mehmet pushing Aaron Jr on the swing. Aaron Jr really loves Mehmet. He was so good with kids.
More photos from the party. My mom made this quilt for him. There were star buttons on Salt Lake City and on Turkey and then a line connected them. He LOVED it.
What the boys were doing during the party. What the girls were doing during the party.
