Whistle While You Work

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I worked at the farmers market all summer and fall with Kerianne again.

We had fun... as usual.

I think it was our first week of the farmers market, someone took a photo of us and it was in the newspaper that week.

We are famous. HA!
We are laughing in this photo. One of the most enJOYable parts of this job with Kerianne is when one of us is trying to be personable with a customer and we tell a joke or say something funny and when they don't laugh along with us or they don't hear us at all... so we will always give each other the well deserved laughter after the fact. It happens way more often than you would think.
Its awesome.

I found this teeny tiny green bean and I had to take a photo of it showing how teeny tiny it is.

So I held it in my hand next to the box of green beans.

Isn't it so cute?

 

Aaron had to come to the farmers market with me a few times...

he found these stakes and bungee cords in the box of miscellaneous items and he did not get bored.

Look at his creation.

A close up.

 Aaron took this photo up in the tree.

Aaron wearing a hair net that he got at school that day when a parent came to talk to the class about their job.

My niece Caroline got to come and work with me a couple of times when Kerianne had her son's soccer games to go to.

We had fun. She was a natural.

Kerianne and Me.

Kerianne and I get asked several times a week if we are sisters.

It is a compliment for sure and we have a lot of fun with it.

We have started to just laugh every time someone asks.

I guess if you are friends long enough, you start to look alike?

We have been friends for over 20 years now. WOWEE!

We are rivals in our support of college sports though.

So we love to wear our hats that show our rivalry.

She loves the U of U. I love BYU.

At work at my other job.

Aaron took a photo of the back of my shirt while I was hanging pictures up on the walls.

I love my job.

I love the atmosphere.

I love interacting with people.

I really love the people I work with.

Best part? Flexible schedule so that I am at home with Aaron Jr when he is not in school.

If I can't be at home being a mom to a house full of kids during the day, then this is the next best thing for me right now... until that dream of a house full of kids comes true. :)

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Fall Field Trip to the Farm

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 Aaron on the bus ride to the farm.

I am so behind on blogging.

This field trip was towards the beginning of October.

I will be trying to play 'catch up' in the next couple of weeks.

Here's hopin' I can catch up by the end of the year.

First things first.

The gigantic slide.

 

Then the piggy barrel train ride.

Then the tractor hayride out to the pumpkin patch.

This is Aeden and Aaron.

Aaron and Mom in the pumpkin patch.

Then the corn maze.

Look at that sea of corn.

Aaron's school teacher and his school class with their pumpkins.

This was a fun day.

I am so glad I got to go with Aaron's class on this field trip.

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Safe and Sound

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I took this photo of Aaron last night while I was watching him sleep. I was just so grateful that my baby was safe and sound at home in bed.

After hearing about the tragedy in Connecticut at the elementary school yesterday, I held my sweet boy a little tighter and treasured him a little more.

I still haven't watched any news on TV about what happened, I have only heard the news through facebook and word of mouth... and that's okay.

It makes me so sick to think about what happened and once I start thinking about something that disturbing, it is hard to think about anything else.

I am still crying every time I really let myself sit and think about what they went through. Its horrible.

Those teachers and precious children went through something horrific yesterday and the only thing that brings me peace in all of this is knowing that they are safe and sound back home with our Father in Heaven.

I am heartbroken for all of the parents and family members of those whose lives were taken yesterday. I pray that they will feel the peace and love that comes through the Savior. I pray that they will be comforted in this excruciating time of their lives.

May God be with them all.

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Aaron Jr turns 7 !

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Happy 7th Birthday, Aaron Jr !

Happy Birthday to my handsome, fun, amazing, smart, thoughtful, sweet, compassionate, brilliant, cheeky, incredible, spiritual, friendly, charming, energetic, talented, cheerful, gentle, generous, witty, genuine, hilarious, kind, clever, honest, friendly, creative, loving, JOYful, awesome little boy.

Aaron Jr turned 7 years old today!

Where has time gone?
December 1, 2005 is the happiest and most fulfilling day of my life.

Tonight at 11:58 pm, we lit the candles on his birthday cake.
That is the exact time when he was born.
His wish before blowing out the second set of candles
(because we forgot about making a wish the first time)...
his wish was this:

"I wish for
a brother
and a sister
and a dog
and a Dad
and cake
and frosting."

Yes, I let him say his wishes out loud. Every year.
To keep them to ones self has always seemed silly to me.
I love knowing what his hopes and dreams and wishes are.
I pray that all of those things begin to come true for him this year.

Aaron Jr blesses my life every moment of every day.

He is the JOY in my life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET AARON!

I LOVE YOU!

~ ~ ~

And while I'm at it...

Happy Birthday to my beautiful sister, Lisa as well.

They share a birthday.

I love you, Lisa.

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Five Years

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So, its been five years.

Five years since Aaron passed away.

Five years since I lost my husband, the father of our son.

Five years since my son lost his Dad.

Five years since our entire world was shattered and I felt more pain than I ever knew I could.

Five years since my heart broke and I knew for sure that a broken heart brings physical pain and not just emotional pain.

Five years since I became a single Mom.

Five years.

To say that it is surreal is an understatement.

I'm not quite sure how to feel about it...

So I will just start typing and see what comes of it.

So much of me wants to cry so hard and out loud about what has been lost...

And part of me wants to share the tender mercies that have come as a result of this experience.

My feelings are mixed so much of the time.

I want to move forward and allow the healing to come into my heart and accept the tender mercies of the Lord in this situation...

But my loyalties to Aaron and his memory sometimes feel like a bungee cord that only allows me to progress so far in my healing and moving forward before it snaps me back without a moment's notice because of the triggers that continually remind me what is missing in my life.

How do I cut the bungee cord without letting go of Aaron and the good memories we shared?

And how do I let go of the painful memories we shared? They are such a burden. A painful and a real burden. A heavy burden.

One sad thing is that we are used to our life the way it is now.

We are used to it.

Some might not view that as sad, but I do.

I don't like feeling used to it just being Aaron Jr and me...

because even though we are used to it, there is still a gaping hole where someone is missing.

The loss of Aaron left this hole, but I still have hope that it can be filled again someday.

It is so strange to say it out loud... FIVE YEARS.

Why is time such a paradox?

It feels like it was yesterday and at the same time, it feels like it was a thousand years ago.

This year all of the dates and days of the week are lining up with those in 2007.

Aaron passed away on a Thursday, and this year the anniversary is on a Thursday.

Because of this, I have been living that last week of Aaron's life with us all over again.

Replaying moments that were great and happy and also replaying moments that were pain filled and awful.

Some of those moments I have had to forgive myself for and some of them I have had to forgive Aaron for.

If I could offer advice to anyone, it would be to make sure you don't allow anyone you love to question your love for them on any given day... because you may never see them again.

Now, after writing what we became on that day five years ago...

I now want to share what we have become in these five years since...

In these past five years, I have become a stronger person.

In these past five years, I have become more independent.

In these past five years, I have been stretched, molded, refined, and shaped more than ever before, too bad I still have a long way to go before I have been stretched, molded, refined, and shaped 'enough', but I am on my way I hope.

In these past five years, I have become a pretty awesome single mom (some days I do not think so).

In these past five years, I have become more addicted to candy than ever before.

In these past five years, I have gained a stronger testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

In these past five years, I have gained more faith in Jesus Christ and His love for us.

In these past five years, I have survived weeks, days, hours, and even moments that I thought I could not continue breathing through.

In these past five years, I have learned more about forgiveness than ever before.

In these past five years, I have felt loved and my love has grown for my eternal family. They have been such a support.
In these past five years, I have learned more about myself.
In these past five years, I have learned more about what I want in my future husband.

In these past five years, I have received such love and support from my close and eternal friends.

In these past five years, I have gained more eternal friends that I never would have met if I had not become a widow.

In these past five years, we have been blessed by blog friends who have commented, prayed, loved us and cared about us... even without ever having met us.

In these past five years, I have had the privilege of watching Aaron Jr grow and become a compassionate, thoughtful, sweet, kind, beautiful, and amazing little boy. Raising this little boy is my greatest gift in life, he is my world. What a blessing he is in my life.

I am grateful for all that I have gained in these past five years. I still miss what I have lost, but I have truly gained so much from these five years.

I am grateful because I am blessed.

I love and miss you Aaron.

You are remembered every day.

I want you to know that Aaron Jr reminds me of you. Sometimes his facial expressions catch me off guard because they will remind me of one of yours and I simply cannot believe it. That is not something that would have been learned, that would be in his DNA. He feels like he knows you and talks about you often. He loves you and wants to be like you. We both love you and miss you. We are doing okay and will continue to be okay.

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I heard this song a while back and have heard it more in the past week and a half than I have heard it before... and it makes me think of Aaron, so I wanted to share it.

It is called 'Stars' by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.

Enjoy.

50th Wedding Anniversary

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My parents' wedding day, November 15, 1962.
They were married in the Logan, Utah LDS Temple.

They are such a beautiful couple.

Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary

to my Dad and Mom!

I want to share a few thoughts about my parents today.

Today, November 15th, 2012 is their 50th wedding anniversary.

My parents are amazing people.

When they first met, one of the things they found out about each other was that both of them wanted 12 kids. How many people do you know who want 12 kids? Once my dad knew that about my mom, he knew he had to marry her. My mom comes from a family of 11 kids and my dad comes from a family of 8 kids. So both of them grew up in large families and wanted the same for their own family. I love knowing that they wanted each and ever one of us before they even began having children. In the end, after a second miscarriage, they came to the realization that 11 must be their number.

They had 11 kids in 17 years.

7 boys.

4 girls.

daughters and sons-in-law who they love...

and now...

46 grandchildren who they adore...
and counting...

Once my parents began having children, my Dad worked hard to earn a living and my Mom worked hard taking care of the household and caring for us kids. My Mom was a stay at home mom every day of her mom life. I cannot tell you how comforting it was to be at school and know that if I needed my Mom for anything, she was at home and would pick up the phone. I loved coming home from school and finding my mom and fresh baked cookies waiting for us there. I am grateful for that. And it could not have been possible if my Dad did not work so hard to make sure that could happen. He wanted my Mom to be there for us, he wanted her to be at home with us kids, loving us, nurturing us, teaching us. It is because of my Dad and his hard work that made it so my Mom could be there for us each day.

They have sacrificed a lot of us throughout their lives.

Their lives have been for their children.

They have gone without luxuries throughout their lives because their family came first.

Watching my parents work so hard and sometimes for so little and still stay out of debt throughout their whole lives has been such an example to all of us. They have taught us the value of work and the value of freedom of the chains of creditors.

 

They are fiercely loyal parents who believe in their kids.

 They love us, their family.

They taught us the importance of family and because of that, we are all best friends with each other. They taught us to be loyal to each other and to love each other and to help each other. Anytime there is something needing done for one of us, my parents and family are right there to help each other. And with as big a family as we have, it is a small army helping to get things done.

They love each other.

I am grateful for parents who set a good example of how to treat each other.

They are best friends and loved each other through the JOYs and the sorrows of their lives.
They have survived the deaths of their parents and the death of one of their sons and were faithful through it all.

They have been a support and a strength to each other and to us kids through heart breaking losses and life shattering trials.

 

My parents taught us the gospel of Jesus Christ.
They taught us about our Savior and His teachings the love that Christ has for us.

They taught us how to be good people.

They taught us who we are.

They taught us to stand for truth, to fight for what is right, to be honest, and to have integrity in our daily lives.

My parents are now serving their second full time mission for

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Yet another sacrifice as they are away from family serving the Lord.

We miss them.

My parents are amazing people...

and anyone and everyone would be blessed to know them.

We are sure blessed to have them as parents.

I could go on and on and on...

...bound together for eternity...

Happy 50th anniversary to my parents!

We love you, Dad and Mom / Grandpa and Grandma!

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Random September ~ 2012

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 Sunday walk around the Bountiful Temple.

good old orange peel smile

an oldie, but a goodie

our disguises that we wore at the Secret Haven Fall Open House.

I love that you can see Aaron's bottom teeth as he smiles.

  And that he is so serious in this one.

we put this little robot together

show and tell

Here is the little part that Aaron did in the Primary Program at church.

 He said it perfectly in front of the whole congregation. Yay!

aaron's grasshopper when we gave it back its freedom

If you watch all four videos, you almost get the whole book. :)
So proud of him.

me donating blood again.

make your appointment to give blood.

it saves lives.

 

I was at Secret Haven and went into the dressing room to try on some clothes,

and to my surprise, this spider was in the dressing room with me.

So Sadie caught it to take home and show her daughter. Her daughter loves spiders.

They are brave. I hate spiders' guts and so does Aaron Jr. :)

My niece, Julia's, cute dog, Jack was having a really hard time,

so they made the difficult decision to have him put down,

so we went over to say good bye.

It is so difficult to say good bye to a beloved pet.

This is Jack.

He only had three legs when Julia picked him out at the animal shelter.

She loves dogs so much that she couldn't bear not to take Jack because she knew there were very few people who would pick Jack to adopt. What a sweet girl.

She loves Jack and misses him.

Good bye, Jack.

We all love you.

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