Happy 31st Birthday, Aaron... 2008
Aaron, as we celebrate your birthday this year, I am so grateful for the MIRACLE of your birth 31 years ago, the MIRACLE of your life, the MIRACLE you will always be in my life and the MIRACLE of our son.
Aaron's birthday this year, the 29th of March, just happened to fall on the same day as four months. It has been four months today since he passed away. We wanted to make his birthday special this year since it is the first birthday since he passed away. So, we went to the zoo. A couple of days before Aaron passed away, we were talking about what we should do for Aaron Jr's birthday that weekend. We talked about going sledding, but wondered if it would be too cold since Aaron Jr had a cold. Aaron then talked about taking him to the zoo for his first time. We decided to play it by ear and see how Aaron Jr was feeling by the end of the week. Well, Aaron passed away two days before Aaron Jr's birthday, so we didn't get to celebrate it with Aaron. So, I figured going to the zoo on Aaron's birthday would be the best way to celebrate his birthday. That way, Aaron Jr's first time at the zoo would be on his Daddy's birthday. All week it was saying that Saturday was supposed to be rainy or snowy and really cold. We were talking about what we would do if the weather didn't cooperate. Nothing seemed like the right thing to do to celebrate Aaron's birthday... the zoo was the only thing that came to mind. So, we all prayed really hard that we would have good enough weather that would allow us to celebrate Aaron's birthday at the zoo with the Harkness Family. Even the morning of... the weather online was still saying that it was supposed to be very wet and very cold. Well, we decided to go ahead with the plans and see what happened. We went out to lunch at one of Aaron's favorite restaurants called 'Cafe Rio'. While we ate lunch the weather seemed to be getting warmer and warmer. It was not WARM, but it was getting bearable. The sun was even shining. So, after lunch, we headed to the zoo. We were all in jackets and coats, but the sun was nice and the weather wasn't as cold as it was supposed to be. It turned out to be a perfect day for us to go to the zoo. What a huge blessing. I am so grateful that our prayers were answered. It was a MIRACLE. We were blessed to be able to celebrate Aaron's birthday at Hogle Zoo. We had such a great time. The kids had a blast and us adults had a blast right along with them. The greatest part about the day was that even the times when I thought about Aaron and what he would be doing... what animals he would be the most excited to see... the things he would love to show Aaron Jr... ... ... the sorrow was there, but I felt like he was there with us. I think I felt him closer that day than I have for a while. This was another MIRACLE. We were all able to have a great day and truly celebrate Aaron's life. Here are some photos from the zoo...
Here is Aaron Jr in front of the sign for Hogle Zoo. I had this photo of Aaron with Aaron Jr put on this shirt so that Aaron Jr could wear it on his Daddy's birthday. I wanted there to be a way that Aaron could be in the photos on his own birthday... and it would help us to all be able to have him closer to us. And I did feel him closer. When I first put it on him that day, he couldn't stop staring down at it and saying 'Daddy'. It says 'My Daddy... ...always with me'. He wore it proudly all day long and slept in it that night. It is actually the same photo on the shirt as the one I have in the right column of our blog. The one with Aaron Jr. on Aaron's shoulders.
Some of the animals we saw...
More animals...
Some birds...
This was a very funny place that we stopped... we stopped to see the cougar. On the left is Steve's son, Isaac and Sadie's daughter, Grace. Isaac is wearing a little animal suit to keep him warm and he was crawling around on the ground while we were looking at the cougar. Well, the cougar was VERY interested in this little 'animal' crawling around outside of his cage. So, he kept pacing back and forth and once in a while putting his face right up to the cage to check out the little 'animal'. Isaac didn't realize that he was the center of attention of a cougar. We all thought it was quite funny. Good thing there was a fence between the two of them.
Me & Aaron Jr.
Sue & Malia ; Sue & Steve & Pearl
Grace... she wore a toilet paper tail all day long. It was so funny. She is quite a character.
Aaron Jr. with his cotton candy. Malia shared so nicely with all of the other kids. Thank you Malia.
Leslie & Christa & Isaac & Sadie & Sophia
Grace & Pearl & Sadie & Sophia & Leslie & Aaron Jr & Christa & Malia & Steve & Isaac
We really missed you Dave, April, & Suzie.
Sophia & Grandpa & Malia & Aaron Jr & Grace & Isaac & Grandma & Pearl
Aaron Jr with the alligators. This is actually the place where I thought Aaron would have spent the most time. He loved reptiles. He was always trying to catch lizards and snakes. I hope Aaron Jr does the same thing... but maybe stays away from the rattle snakes. Aaron would catch those as well, but I would be too worried for Aaron Jr to do it.
Me & Aaron Jr.
After the zoo, we all went to the cemetery. It was very sad. I had a hard time there, but couldn't think of another place I would rather be. As I knelt there by myself, I just couldn't hold back the tears. I miss him so much.
This is Aaron Jr & Ode at our house that night. We had such a great time there. My friend Liz came to visit us. Aaron Jr and I watched movies and had a sleepover in the family room. I took the couch and he took the love seat. It was so much fun. I would have usually been nervous sleeping there without Aaron, but I didn't feel nervous even once. That is proof to me that he was with us that day AND that night.
We went to church at our ward that next day and it made me realize how much I miss the people there. I hadn't been back to the ward there since Aaron passed away. My friend Kerianne brought her two kids down and went with me. Our bishop let me come up and speak to the congregation. I was nervous to share my feelings with them, but I felt like I should. I wanted to thank them all for the love and support they have given to us. I wanted to share with them how much I miss Aaron, but that how grateful I am that we are sealed together as a family. I know that we will see Aaron again. I told them of my love for Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. After the meeting was over, so many of the friends we have there waited to give me a hug and share their love for us. I am so grateful for them all. I miss them all and I am grateful that they are in my life.
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Happy 30th Birthday, Aaron... 2007
For Aaron's 30th birthday, I planned a surprise weekend up in Park City. I wish I had taken more photos. But at least I got one of Aaron with Aaron Jr. Several of Aaron's friends and some family came up to help with the surprise. It was so much fun. We had a great time. The day that we left Park City, it was Easter, so the photos from that day are a couple of posts down in my Easter posting. If we had known this would be the last birthday we were able to celebrate Aaron's birthday with him, we would have done so much more...
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Happy 29th Birthday, Aaron... 2006
The top photo here is of Aaron at his fourth annual surprise party I threw him. He is holding Aaron Jr. That was the first year we had Aaron Jr with us to celebrate Aaron's birthday. The bottom photo is ON Aaron's birthday. We went to visit his Grandma who passed away just a few shorts months later. After we visited her, we went out to eat, then...
The top photo is of him with 'his birthday cake'. The bottom photo is of Aaron when we went to his parents' house to celebrate his birthday. He fell asleep with a gift he had received on his finger. Steve & Christa... that is the gift you gave him, I believe. A component for his mountain bike.
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Happy 28th Birthday, Aaron... 2005
This was Aaron's 3rd annual surprise party. The surprise took place at a restaurant called 'Cafe Alicia's'. Everyone was there when we got there, then we went to his parents' house after for some games and cake. It was a really great surprise and we had a lot of fun.
Left to right: Kristi, Angie, Nate, Chad, Rori, Joann, Justin, Dax, Rob, Kaily, April, Dave, Austin, Michelle, Aaron, Leslie, Spencer, Spencer Jr.
This was Aaron's party with his family at his parents' house.
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Happy 27th Birthday, Aaron... 2004
This is a photo of all of the people who came to this 2nd annual surprise party for Aaron. Funny story about this year... Justin had taken Aaron pheasant hunting for the day while Joann and I got things ready at our house. People were going to show up and then Justin was supposed to have Aaron back shortly after and then have the surprise. Well... Justin called after they were already late and said that Ode (our dog) had gotten lost and they were trying to find him. Justin kept me posted throughout the evening, but people had to leave after being there for a few hours. It got too late and dark for them to continue looking for Ode, so they came home... well, probably about 1/3 of the guests had left, but we still had a good time. They didn't get there until about 10:30 or 11:00 pm. The friends who could stay... we talked until really late into the night. It was still fun. Aaron and I drove the 2 to 2 1/2 hour drive again the next day to continue looking for Ode. After looking for him for a few hours, a little boy came riding his bike up behind us and asked us if we were missing a black dog. He led us to his house where Ode had been for the night. We were very grateful to that little boy. We love Ode and are so happy he is still with us.
In the photo: Kaily, Rob, Spencer, Spencer, Kristi, Suzy, Mark, Dan, ?, Rori, Chad, Nate, Nate, Angie, Joann, Marianne, Justin, Dax, Charlie, Kerianne
This is Aaron & Me at that same surprise party. The top photo is of Aaron at his parents' home the day they celebrated his birthday.
Aaron's ACTUAL birthday was spent in Flagstaff, Arizona where we were visiting his brother Steve and wife Christa. These photos were taken in Sedona, Arizona. Left to right: Leslie, Aaron; Aaron, Steve
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Happy 26th Birthday, Aaron... 2003
And last, but not least... Aaron's FIRST annual surprise party thrown up in Heber City at a cabin. Thanks Angie for getting the cabin for us. This surprise party, since it was the first party, was the best surprise of them all. The rest of them... I think Aaron just humored me. He didn't really love to be in the spotlight, but I loved throwing him parties. I loved planning them and especially planning the surprise part. This time around, we were supposed to go ice fishing with Rob and Kaily. Well, we were supposed to meet them up in Heber City and then drive up together to the lake and camp for the night. When we were on our way up there, I had Rob call and say that he and Kaily had been driving around while they waited for us and their car broke down. So they gave us the address where they were stranded and once we got there... as soon as Aaron made his way up to their car and poked his head under the hood... everyone jumped out from behind a bush and screamed 'surprise'. It was perfect. Then we told Aaron that we were parked in front of the cabin where we would be sleeping for the night and that ice fishing wasn't really happening. I think he was very disappointed that ice fishing was out, but he humored me that night as well since I had put the work into it for him. In the photo: Aaron, Leslie, April, Angie, Nate, the Larsons (I think), the Thomas's, Dan, Rob, Kaily, Dax
Once again, Aaron's ACTUAL birthday was spent visiting Aaron's brother Steve and wife Christa in Huntington Beach, California. The day of his birthday, Steve and Aaron went surfing, we all went kayaking, then we went out to dinner.
Left: after Kayaking... Aaron and Leslie
Right: Aaron at his parents' home celebrating with them.
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Happy 25th Birthday, Aaron... 2002
This year, Aaron and I were only dating and on his birthday, he was in Brazil with his brother, Steve, and some friends. Unfortunately, this is the ONLY photo of just Aaron and Steve that I have from that trip. Aaron and I were supposed to go to Brazil in the next couple of years, but never got a chance. I am so glad he got to take his brother with him on his only return trip to Brazil after his mission.
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To all of you who are still reading this...
Thank you for humoring me. I tried to pick just a few photos to share, but I had a hard time narrowing it down... and since I only got to spend FIVE short birthdays WITH Aaron (6 if you count that first year)... I figured, why not show all of the years?
Today, I was driving in the car with Aaron Jr. and out of the blue, he said 'Happy Birthday' and he repeated it in his own way of saying it... over and over... when I finally said 'Happy Birthday?' He then said 'Happy Birthday... (pause) ...Daddy'. Then he said it again. It was so sweet.
When I really sit and think about how short of a time Aaron and I were together... it knocks the wind out of me. It is just not enough time. I really envy couples who get to spend any length of time together that is longer than that. Even one more day would have been a treasure. I am grateful for those years though. If I had known I would lose Aaron after only nearly 6 years together... I would still marry him. I would have still been willing to go through the heartache and pain if it meant being blessed with these years with him. I miss countless things about Aaron... if this post wasn't already so long, I would write some of them... but that will have to be another time.
I am so grateful he was and still is a part of our lives. He will live on through us and through the memories we created together. The sorrow of losing Aaron will continue to be carried within us, but the knowledge we have of eternal families... that also will continue to bring us joy.
Happy Birthday, Aaron! We love and miss you always...
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26 comments:
That's a lovely post Leslie. I read every bit of it.
I'd love to hear more about Aaron.
Love,
Jane
jane, i will have to type out how aaron and i met like you asked about. it will be in a near future post. thanks for the idea. i would love to share that.
and thanks for reading all of this posting. :)
Oh Leslie,
What a beautiful post and such a tribute to Aaron.
The more I read your blog the more I think how lucky and blessed Aaron was to have YOU. You truely amaze me with your love and strength at such an impossibly hard time.
From what I can gather from your writing, your living with your parents now and not in your home you shared with Aaron? Although it must be nice to have them with you, you must also miss your own home you created together. Do you think you will eventually move back there? you said you were nervous sleeping in the house by yourself. When you've always slept with the knowledge that you have a big strong man sleeping beside you it can be scary locking up for the night and going to bed alone.
With Craig's business, sometimes he has to do night shift for weeks at a time and it takes me a while to get used to being in the house at night without him whenever he starts working at night.
Something that has touched me is when you say you know you'll be an eternal family together. I truely believe that too, although some of our beliefs are so different they are also similar. I was raised a Catholic and my son goes to a Catholic school although I now practice Buddhism, but underneath it all we all have the same beliefs....that family is eternal.
Em
Leslie, what a wonderful tribute to your beloved Aaron. The world is obviously a lesser place without Aaron in it.
I think it was such a beautiful and very touching idea you came up with for Aaron Jnr's T-shirt that he wore to the zoo and that night. It made me cry.
What a perfect way to celebrate and remeber Aaron on his special day. It's even more special that you felt his presence all day. I believe that Aaron is always watching over you and Aaron Jnr. I think he may have even had a hand in making sure the weather conditions were good so that you could go to the zoo.
Sending you love and strength today and always.
Awesome post. Thank you for coming and visiting me and leaving a comment. You are one strong woman and that is a wonderful thing for Aaron Jr.. I enjoy reading your posts. I can feel the same feelings that you are and you do a great job expressing them.
You are in my thoughts and my prayers. Just remember to take each day, one day at a time and when that is hard then take it one minute at a time.
I loved the post you did about Aaron's birthday! I never really got to know him personally, but through your blog it seems like I've known him for many years! The shirt you made for Aaron Jr. is so cute! I would've never thought about making a t-shirt like that. Aaron Jr. is getting so big!
Ryan went to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on his mission. I've never been there, but eventually I hope to go there someday. Maybe you could come with us if you'd like to (but I have no idea when we'll be able to go). It would be neat to see the areas Aaron was in for two years of his life, sharing the Gospel with everyone around him.
We are so blessed to have the True Gospel in our lives!
Beautiful tribute to Aaron, Leslie. I thought is was such a nice day as well. I remember you planning his party last year. We missed it because I had Isaac the day before or something like that. You guys pretty much came to visit us every year we were in california or away at school. Even if you had to shack up in our teeny tiny apartments, aaron always made the effort. Even for Malia's blessing you guys came. We were so grateful then, but they are such treasured memories now. We love you both so much!
Beautiful post Leslie. I feel the heartache of him missing in the pictures at the zoo. I am glad you shared the few birthdays you shared with him. It just seems like he should be here. Very strange. I am so glad you could go stay at your house. How nice!!! I bet little Aaron enjoyed that.
Love you Les!
Good post!!! I loved all the pictures from past birthdays. What a great idea! What a blessing little Aaron is. I could gobble him up! He's DARLING! I'm glad y'all got to go to the zoo! That looked like a lot of fun, and loved the cougar stalking the 'little animal'.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON!
Tami
Leslie, I really enjoyed this post and have actually been looking forward to it since you told me you were going to the Zoo for Aaron's birthday. The shirt turned out perfectly! What a great idea! I am so grateful that Justin and I could be part of most of those surprise parties. I only wich that Justin wouldn't have been in AZ for the first one! I think we really missed out! Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this post and how great of an example you are to me. I continue to pray for you often, especially when the girls talk about little Aaron and big Aaron. They loved him, too! I really hope your enjoyed Aaron's birthday even though some of it was difficult. Thinking of you always!
Oh, I love the song. Very appropriate!
Leslie, I loved this post and I didn't think it was long at all, it read like a book. I couldn't stop reading.
It was very touching, and I think very appropriate.
I am constantly thinking about you and praying for you. You are a very strong person. You and Lisa and I should get together for lunch.
Your posts always make me cry. I can feel your heartache. It is obvious that you love your Aaron so much. What a testament to your devotion as a wife and Godly woman.
I have bought a digital camera (we have one as a family, but it is too expensive to to carry around) and I keep it in my purse and I take pictures of lots of things, because of you!! You have taught me how valuable those can be.
I love the pictures of the trip to the zoo. I am glad you could be with family and have a good time.
Have a good day, Leslie - and do something nice for yourself!
Rita Darnell
I love the pictures of all the birthdays. I need to take more photos because I am sure they are a treasure to you now. I'm glad you came to church on Sunday. It was good to see you and hear your testimony. You really are an inspiration.
I have talked to a few girls and we are planning a girls night so I will let you know when it all happens. It would be fun to have you there.
Hang in there!! You are loved:)
your posts aren't ever too long. I always enjoy them!
I'm so happy that you were able to get out and celebrate with the Harkness family, what a perfect way to celebrate Aarons birthday!
Always love your photos--you've got talent my friend. Multiple talents, through pictures and words!
Thank you for sharing-
Leslie,
I was so worried that Aaron's birthday was going to be unbearable. I'm glad that it went so well. We celebrated his birthday from afar and thought of you all often. Miss him.
I'm glad that you posted those birthdays that you were able to spend with him. They are great memories...fun memories. I'm grateful that you included us in those always surprising surpise parties. I remember the first one you threw... Aaron said that he thought we were dogs when we came out of the bushes to shout "surprise". Funny. And, we watched "The Ring" that night. I was so scared that you and Aaron let me sleep in your room.
Love you. Miss you.
Oh I loved this post. I remember how hard you tried to surprise him last year. You were so sweet to always work so hard to make him feel special.
What a beautiful post. How lovely that you have such warm memories for your son to read about one day.
Take care Kristen
What a beautiful tribute. I enjoyed every bit of it. Thank you for sharing!
I'm also so envious of your zoo! Looks a millions x's more exciting than the Phoenix Zoo! I'd love to see the penguins!
Hi Leslie, James and I have both been thinking about you alot this week, and found your blog. We both just wanted to send our love and support, and insist again that you let us know what we can do for you and Aaron jr. Miss and love you. my blog address is http;cometakeaholiday.blogspot.com and my email is jyl@jylholidaycreations.com
Miss and love you!
Jyl and James Holiday
Leslie
My friend left this comment on my blog. I thought it might lift your spirits.
I've always thought that "Ordinary Miracles" was a pretty song, but I had never really listened to the words before today. I hope you don't mind if I piggyback off of you and post the lyrics on my blog. What a great message and reminder to appreciate the simple things in life.
I also hope that Leslie doesn't mind that I read her blog that inspired yours. I was just overwhelmed with emotion. I cannot even imagine what she is going through. The love that she has for her husband & her son radiates through her thoughtful words. I didn't know if it would be appropriate for me to post on her blog since I don't know her personally, but if she sees this comment, I just want her to know what an awesome example of faith and gratitude she is. And I absolutely loved the t-shirt she made for Aaron Jr.
Thanks to both of you for reminding us to look and be grateful for the ordinary miracles we experience each day.
Leslie-I found your blog through Andrea's and can't believe how much time has passed and what sorrow has entered your life. I am so sorry for your loss and I too would love to hear how you two fell in love. I have one memory of Aaron from 7th grade. Dawnita invited him and Cole Seely to go skiing with us and I was very nervous because they were already quite popular, but Aaron was so nice and friendly and I remember thinking that he seemed like the type of guy that would stay genuine. Anyway, my family and friends are praying and thinking of you too. Keep telling us your stories.
Katie (formerly Edwards)
Hi Leslie,
You don't know me but my husband, Jared, and I are close friends with Mark and Suz. Also Dawnita Hendricks (Holland) is my sister-in-law. I hope you don't mind that I found your blog through Mark...
You have been in my thoughts and prayers so much. Every Thursday I write a Simple Spirituality post on my blog. (littlehollandfamily.blogspot.com) I actually wrote about you in my Thursday post (I hope that's not too creepy:) as a women of courage and faith.
You are such a beautiful woman with such incredible faith. Your honesty and convictions grasp at my heart. I feel so honored to be able to read your words. You are such a light and inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us.
Your family is simply beautiful. I love the birthday recap pics of Aaron, and how sweet is little Aaron's shirt!?!
You are amazing.
All of my thoughts and love,
Alisa
As I was reading this post it hit me again, as it has many times, that Aaron Jr. is missing a huge part of who he is. My heart continues to break for you and Aaron.
On a lighter note, it looks like the zoo was fun. I loved the tee shirt. It made me cry.
Aaron must have gotten his hair cut. It looks more managable than it did before. I liked seeing a recap of previous birthdays. You are such a good wife to always try to plan something special for him. Great post. Love you
I'm loving that picture of Aaron asleep with the bike grip on his finger. I was so sad for you today, it's just not fair:( I'm sorry. And I'm thinking that take-out Chinese and 3 movies sound great for me! Maybe I'll do that next time Sverre is out of town! love you, Sverre and Erin
Leslie...well I don't even know where to begin. I have spent the last 2 hours reading your blog and I feel like I totally know you even though we've only talked a few times. I am so glad you opened up to me that day at Kristi's shower and shared with me your story of Aaron. I am just in awe at your strength and the incredible person you are. I am so glad I met you and wish you lived closer so we could get to know eachother more. But I am so glad you have this blog. I love getting to know Aaron and you through this. I loved reading all about your dating and the experiences you have together. I love that you wrote him a random letter on your mission after reading about him in your ward newsletter...what an inspired letter that really was! And I love the letter you put in there from him. So cute. I love that you guys were so close to eachother so many times and didn't end up together until the end. I can't believe you even lived in the same apartment in Orem...what are the chances! And I really loved that he proposed to you in Adam-ondi-oman and that he did it 100 yards away and with all your famiy there to see! You had so many fun trips and so many great outdoors events...he seems like a true man's man...the fisher, biker, hiker, kiaker, wake-boarder man! You took so many beautiful pictures together...Lake Powell, Brianhead, Moab...so many great places in Utah. You are an incredible photographer and so talented. What a wonderful talent to have so that you can hold onto all of Aaron through the years. I love the music on your blog too...all the songs seem so fitting to you and Aaron. I also am amazed at his carpentry skills. He is so talented! I loved all the pictures of his hutch's and coffe tables-Wow-I would have loved to buy one of his peices. I just love that worn and antiqued look. I hadn't heard of his mom's shop but it looks just like one I've been to in Springville, Ut that I loved. I think its so cute that he made furniture for his mom. I wished you had gotten to keep more of it though, but I'm glad you have so many pictures of them and atleat that one of him in it. I really just loved reading all of this and then when I got to this post about Aaron Jr's birthday I just lost it. Seeinc cute little Aaron jr. with his t-shirt of his daddy always with him was the sweetest and saddest thing I have ever seen. I love that you did that for him so he could be with him on his birthday just as he had planned. I am soooo sorry Leslie. My heart is just breaking for you right now. I just want to give you a big hug and tell you how much I admire you. Becuase I know Kristi and Spencer and love them like family I do feel like I know you now. We really do love them...they are the nicest, sweetest, most spiritual and fun couple in the ward. Jared loves Spencer so much and I always know when he's talking to him on the phone becuase he gets all excited and goofy and it's so fun to see him be like that. We are so grateful they moved out here and would love it if you moved out too! Although I know that would be really hard to not be in Utah with your family and Aaron's family and be able to go visit his grave. But I'm sure you'll be out more to visit...I can tell how much Kristi loves having you here. You Higginsons' are all really such great people. We were able to watch a video of your family one night and I loved seeing all the pictures of everyone and the ones dedicated to Bruce. I know you have already been through a lot as a family and just pray that the Lord can continue to comfort you. I hope to see you again, maybe tomorrow if you haven't left yet since the kids have joy school over at Kristi's. I wished we could have talked more on Sunday but it was kind-of a crazy day for me with the whole birthday thing and I was sad we had to rush off and leave early and that we hardly got to talk again. But I'm so glad to know that you have a blog and I can keep reading more about you and your sweet posts. What a wonderful wife you are...Aaron was one lucky guy...and I'm sure he would be so grateful if he saw the wonderful posts you have dedicated to him and his life. I am so glad you have this blog to write down all your memories for Aaron jr. So anyway, thanks again for letting me in to a little peice of your life. You really are amazing.
Love,
Christine
And p.s. thanks for you cute comments too
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