Halloween 2010

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Me as a black widow (yes on purpose) and Aaron Jr as a knight.

* ~ Before I go on... In his prayer tonight, Aaron Jr said:
"bless my dad can learn me how to drive his truck".
I only wish that were possible. Wow, what a tough week its been. I love this little boy... and we miss Aaron.

Every time we went to anyone's house who had Halloween decorations out, Aaron would ask when we were going to get our Halloween decorations out. So, I finally got them out and since he was way more excited to decorate than me, I let him decorate. This is one of the spots he decorated. The plastic bag looking thing there is the wrapper that came on a package of paper towels. He did not waste ANYTHING Halloween ish ... anything could be a decoration to Aaron Jr. So funny.

Christa, Sue, Ava, April, Grace, Aaron, Pearl, Sophia, Susie
At the Secret Haven Fall Open House. Secret Haven is my mother in law's boutique. We all love it there.

ALL the Harkness cousins.
Malia, Pearl, Ava, Isaac, Grace, Evan, Susie, Aaron, Lennon, Sophia

Aaron, Isaac, Malia, Evan, Susie, Grace, Lennon, Ava, Pearl, Sophia
This was the Halloween party we went to with the Harkness side. They kids had fun.

Isaac & Aaron ~ great pals

Aaron Jr.

Aaron Jr.

Aaron with the pumpkin he picked out.

Aaron scooping out seeds and guts of the pumpkin.

Aaron with the carved pumpkin. So proud.

He wanted it to have a scary face... but this was the scariest I could come up with for a 5 minute job.

Aaron Jr ~ getting into character.

Stella as a cute cat. ~ It rained so hard while the kids were trunk or treating... the party had to be moved indoors. Stella was a wet cat in this photo. Thanks to Lisa and John letting us come to their party.

Awesome glowing glasses from Grandma Harkness.

I couldn't pick a fave... so there are three.

Cutest boy EVER. I have it on good authority. :)

Don't know what I was this night. I was just trying to dress up a bit. But Aaron Jr is definitely my knight in shining armor... that is for sure.

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6th Annual Girls Overnighter ~ 2010

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Leslie, Marilee, Kerianne, Rori, Andrea, Aly

Last month was our annual fall girls overnighter at Marilee's cabin. This year, we were missing three of our regulars, but one got sick, another had a family emergency, and another had plans with family. We really missed those who could not make it, but we still had a good turn out this year.

We did our regular tradition. We met up in Park City at the outlets and shopped / browsed. The sales this year were better than I remember in the past few years. After shopping, we all went out to dinner. This year Kerianne picked a place called Red Rock Junction or something like that. It was a fun atmosphere and had good food.

After dinner, we went up to Marilee's family's cabin and talked the night away. We talked, we laughed, we ate junk food, and went to bed way too late (like usual), then went to bed. :)

It was so much fun. It is always such a fun time together as old friends.
Thanks to Marilee for always volunteering your cabin. We love it.

I missed Aaron Jr so much, like I always do. But I knew he was in good hands with my sister, Lori's family. He got to play with his cousins and had a blast with them. Thanks again Lori and family. I really appreciate you watching Aaron for me.

And thanks to all the girls who able to come and make it a fun night and to the ones who wanted to be there but could only be there in spirit. :) I love you all.

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# 25 ~ Aaron & Time & All Things

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Aaron & Time & All Things

I am grateful for Aaron & Time & All Things.

~ I am grateful for Aaron. The reasons are obvious why I am grateful for Aaron. I love him. I miss him. I am grateful for his tender and giving heart. I am grateful for the person he was / is. I am grateful that we are married and that I will see him again someday. Even though it gives me great sorrow, I am grateful that he is in a much happier and peaceful place. I am grateful for the moments that we get to feel him around us. I am grateful for the memories and the love that we shared (share).

I am grateful for you, Aaron. I love and miss you.


~ I am grateful for Time.

I am grateful for time spent with Aaron creating memories.
I am grateful for time since he passed away which has allowed my wounded heart to heal some.
I am grateful for time spent with Aaron Jr and the memories we get to continue to create.
I am grateful for time which is still ahead of us... time to continue to enjoy the relationships of family and friends and create memories with all of them.

"Just remember - when you think all is lost, the future remains." ~ Bob Goddard

Time is an interesting thing. To me, it is a phenomenon that I will never completely understand. Those final days spent with Aaron three years ago seem like they just happened yesterday.... but they also feel like they were an eternity ago as well. It blows my mind how it can feel both ways at the exact same time.

"Hang in there. It is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen." ~ Frances H. Burnett

I am grateful for Time and what it continues to teach me as it passes...


~ I am grateful for All Things.

"thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." ~ Doctrine & Covenants 59:7

Since I was planning to write what I was grateful for each day of November until Thanksgiving, I guess this is the last day I am writing what I am grateful for in this manner.
I do want to say that there are SO many more things I am grateful for in my life. I tried to pick ones that meant SO much to me, using ones that are kindof a given... but I also tried to pick some that would not usually be on a quickly written list of gratefuls. I tried to stretch my mind and really put a lot of thought into these postings. I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings that run deep. I hope I was able to do that. I wish I could write down everything I am grateful for, but I am not even sure that is possible to do. Because just when I thought I had them all written, I would of course think of many more to write... and while writing those ones down... the Lord would bless me in many more ways even beyond that.

So, I guess this list that I have written this month will have to do for now. I am truly grateful for all of the ways I am blessed in my life.

I was asked to speak in church last Sunday. My topic was Gratitude. I decided to give my talk on 'Being Grateful In All Things'.

I just finished a book called The Hiding Place. In my talk, one of the stories that I told to demonstrate giving thanks in all things was a story from this book. It took place during WWll. It was an amazing book. In the book, while in a concentration camp, Betsie and Corrie Ten Boom (sisters) read a passage in the Bible that tells them in First Thessalonians "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus." Because of this verse of scripture, Betsie tells her sister Corrie that they even need to be grateful for the fleas that are in their beds where they have to sleep each night. So they both gave thanks for the fleas. It was later in the book that Betsie found out that those fleas were a blessing to them. They were not allowed to have a Bible with them there, but they smuggled a pocket sized one into the camp. They were able to study their Bible and have two Bible studies every day with the other ladies in their dormitory. They did not know why they had so much freedom in their dormitory, but they were grateful for it. They eventually found out that because of the FLEAS, the guards would not set foot into their dormitory. And because the guards did not set foot in there, they were able to study their Bible.

So, in time, they found out why it was such a blessing to have fleas in their beds.

Because of the example set by these women who were living through such horrific circumstances and were still willing to give thanks in all circumstances, I have decided that I want to try to do better about giving thanks in all circumstances. Of course, by doing this, it comes with rewards. We are promised blessings as well...

"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more." ~ Doctrine & Covenants 78:19

So why is it so difficult to receive all things with thankfulness when we are promised so much if we do? I don't know, but it is.

But today, Thanksgiving, is a great time to begin. Tonight, I said a prayer of gratitude that my car would not start yesterday. Yep, it is broken down. Not sure yet what is wrong... and it has been stressing me out for the past 36 hours. I have my brother's car borrowed and someone in my family will be towing my car to a repair place this weekend or next week... I was not a happy camper yesterday.

BUT, because I just finished that book, and because today is Thanksgiving, and because I do want to do what God asks me to do... I am trying to give thanks in ALL circumstances... even the circumstance that my car is broken down. I can only assume that there is a reason for it. It would be great if it was a grand reason... maybe even that I will be blessed next week with a brand new car from winning a contest. (not likely since I have not entered any contests... ha!)
BUT... more likely... the reason could be to humble me so that I will turn to the Lord and rely on Him. It COULD even be because I might have gotten into an accident if I were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There is just no way of knowing why my car would not start. But, I am going to trust in the Lord and be grateful for whatever the reason was. I guess I will see if I can hold this up after I get the repair bill. ;) Okay, just kidding.

I will be grateful ... grateful in ALL circumstances... because I am blessed beyond measure.

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# 24 ~ JOY

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JOY

I am grateful for JOY.

When we went to California for the wedding of Aaron's cousin back in August, Aaron's aunt Marty had an old antique spoon like this sitting at every place setting at the dinner tables. They were for each person to take home with them. She had them pounded out so that the spoon part of it was no longer a cup shape, but was flat like a knife and the word JOY had been imprinted on each of the spoons. Each one was different and unique and really neat. When Marty stood up to say a few words to the group, she told why she had this done to these spoons. I cannot remember if she said she had heard this someone or if it was her own thoughts... This will not be word for word, but this is what I remember about what she said:

She talked about how when her kids were young and she tried to capture every moment on film and video and tried contain it all so that she would always have that JOY. She compared that to a spoon, containing the JOY and keeping it close and protecting it from spilling out and being lost. So, then she talked about as her kids have grown up and each of them left home and then gotten married and had more kids, she has seen that the JOY could not be contained and the JOY has spread because of new people coming into the family and the JOY spreading because of their lives. That is why she had the spoons pounded out into a 'spreader'. Because we should be 'spreading' JOY.

I wish I could remember what she said better than that, but no matter if it is the same way she said it, what I heard has stuck with me these past few months.

The word JOY has always been one of my favorite words. (see? I told you I had a bunch of favorite words) My favorite words are mostly words that have to do with what they mean.

JOY: intense happiness or great delight

When Aaron and I got married, we sat at his computer in his apartment one day and typed what we wanted our wedding announcement to say. We were not at all interested in using super formal wording and font. In the announcement, we did use the line: 'The JOY of your company is requested that evening...' the word JOY was in all caps like that. We wanted to make sure our JOY was felt by all who got the invitation to our wedding and / or reception. We wanted all to know that our wedding day would be full of JOY.

And it was... full of JOY. During the ceremony where we were joined as husband and wife for eternity, I felt so much joy, I could not stop crying. I am sure I looked like a mess... I was not sobbing in sadness, I was crying tears of JOY. Tears were just pouring from my eyes and streaming down my face. I had no control over it. :)

I came across a scripture in the Book of Mormon a while back that made me laugh as it made me think back to those moments during the sealing ceremony. It says:

"And their hearts were swollen with joy, unto the gushing out of many tears..."
~ 3 Nephi 4:33

What an amazing description of those times in our lives when we are overcome with JOY and cannot contain it. Hearts swollen with joy... gushing out of many tears... WOW, I love it.

The next time I felt intense happiness and great delight like that was the day Aaron Jr was born. What a wonderful feeling of JOY I felt in my soul. Heart swollen with joy, gushing out of tears... What a splendid feeling. And Aaron Jr has brought me JOY every day since then. What a blessing he is in my life.

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After I started writing this posting, I took a break and was going about my day and was hit with a very difficult reality of the day. With the anniversary of Aaron's death coming on Monday, I have been trying to stay busy and push it from my mind. But today, I had a sinking feeling today. I had a memory from three years ago, a phonecall I got from my brother announcing to me that he and his wife were expecting another baby. I don't have any idea what brought that particular memory to my mind, but after it was brought to my mind, I had a sinking feeling as I remembered what day that was.

Then it hit me... I started replaying this day, three years ago, in my head. November 24th, 2007. It was the day that started the beginning of what would change our lives forever. It was that day three years ago when Aaron had the accident on his horse and was life flighted to the hospital. It was that night that I got a call from a police officer informing me that Aaron was being life flighted and that I should come and meet him there. It is the night when I grabbed Aaron Jr out of bed at 10:30 at night to race the 20 minutes to the hospital... without any information about the condition of Aaron... only that he was in critical condition. It was that night that I stayed overnight in the hospital with Aaron... praying for miracles to happen in more ways than one. It was that night that began the downward spiral of Aaron's health. But still... even though he was weaker than I had ever seen him in my life... no one ever EVER would have guessed what the outcome would be 5 short days later... when we lost him.

So, that day was a life changing day for us... in more ways than anyone even realizes.

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After realizing what day it was, writing about JOY is not quite as easy for me, but even though it is a tough day, I am still grateful for JOY. There are many things that I can be grateful for that brought JOY to my life. The JOY I had in my life when Aaron was here and the JOY I find in the memories of our life together.

I still feel JOY every day of my life. Without that JOY, I could never have survived. Without feeling pain in my life, I could not even know how sweet the taste of JOY is.

Alma, in the Book of Mormon, describes how I feel perfectly when he said:

"And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

Yea, I say unto you, ... that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, ... that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy."
~ Alma 36:20, 21

How perfect is that description? So perfect.

I am grateful for JOY and the wonderful blessings in my life which bring that JOY to my heart.

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# 23 ~ Light

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LIGHT

I am grateful for Light.

"Someday all you'll have to light the way will be a single ray of hope - and that will be enough." ~ Kobi Yamada

I am sure I am not alone in being grateful for Light. I am sure most people love light, but I want to share a story in order to explain why I love Light so much.

When I was 21, I left home to go on my mission for our church. I had been called to England and I was so excited since we have ancestry from there. I spent nearly three weeks in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, then boarded a plane in Salt Lake City the first week of January 1999. I was flying with about 9 or 10 other missionaries, who were also going to England on their missions.

Our first layover was in Chicago. I don't remember it being a long layover, I think we boarded the next plane fairly quickly, but after boarding the plane that would take us to Europe, they had some problem with the plane and something had to be checked. Well, we all sat on the plane waiting for over 4 hours. We finally took off and flew over the ocean and landed in Belgium, I think. It was one of those small countries over there. Because of our delay in Chicago, we missed our connecting flight and had to sit around / sleep in the Belgium (I think) airport for over 9 hours.

When we finally got our connecting flight to England, we were all exhausted and hungry. We didn't have much money, so we had all contributed to one pizza, I believe, for all of us. That flight was only about an hour long, and when we finally landed in Birmingham, England, it was really dark and really cold.

Originally, we were supposed to show up in time to have dinner with the Mission President and his wife and get acquainted. Then stay at the bed and breakfast that night, then the next morning our trainers would get there, we would all go through some training and get to know you type stuff, then travel back to our new areas with our trainers. Well, this did not happen. We got in so late, they took us straight over to the bed and breakfast where we were meant to stay and dropped us off there and bid us good night. Well, we were all still tired, cold, and starving, so we called for take out so that we could eat before bed.

The next morning, we were up so early, it was still very dark and very cold outside. They picked us up and drove us to the Mission Office in the dark. After we got there, we went into a room and waited as each of us was to have an interview with the Mission President. It had not been a good couple of days. I was already feeling very out of my element. I was away from home for the first time in my life. I only knew the people I had been traveling with. Everyone was welcoming, but the darkness and cold were not giving me any sort of warm and fuzzy feelings about where I was or what I was to be doing. I was feeling very alone and my emotions were all over the place... on the inside. Of course I tried to look strong.

When it came time for my interview with the Mission President, President Spallino, I walked in and we started to talk. He told me that he knew my Dad and that he had worked with him at the church office building. That was the first thing that happened after leaving Utah that made me feel a little bit better. He asked if I would join a mission choir that they were putting together and I agreed. I was still feeling very alone. Still, I couldn't get past the fact that all I had seen so far in that country was darkness and cold. I wish I could express what was going through my mind. I wish I could express how alone I was feeling. I had even begun wondering what I was doing there and if I was really meant to be there. All kinds of things were going through my mind at that point... discouraging things.

At one point, President Spallino walked over to the curtains and opened them. Immediately, the room that had once only been lit by unnatural light was flooded with sunlight that was coming through an overcast sky. I didn't even care that it was not full blown sunlight, just natural light itself was so brilliant.

As I looked out the window, I saw the greenest grass you can imagine seeing in the middle of winter and there was a layer of fog hovering over the grass. Proof enough that I was in England. You could still tell it was really cold outside, but just seeing the natural light come into the room was all I needed to feel an amazing feeling of peace, comfort, and my loneliness was gone. I immediately felt God's love and peace filling my heart and my soul. It was one of the most amazing feelings I have ever had and I will never forget it.

"They may as well have called the sun a ball of flaming joy." ~Terri Guillemets

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After Aaron passed away, those first few months were spent at my parents house in their guest room. Aaron Jr and I shared that room and there was a dark piece of fabric put over the window so that we could keep the room dark longer in the day. I liked it that way. It helped Aaron Jr and I to sleep through much of the morning after I would cry most of the night. Lots of times, my Mom would suggest that I pull that fabric back to let some light into the room... but I rarely did it. I was in a dark place, I was sad and hurting, and I just wanted to feeling the pain in any way that I could. I don't remember when I did start pulling it back more often to let the light in, but eventually I did and it made the room feel better.

Nothing good can come from keeping ourselves in the dark. Breaking free into the light is where we will find our hope and strength and our desire to be happy.

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." ~Maori Proverb

Light is compared to so many wonderful things.
Light is compared to knowledge.
Light is compared to hope.
Light can describe someone's countenance.
Light represents safety.
Light represents truth.
Light represents righteousness, goodness.
Light represents Holiness.
Light represents Christ.

"I have told you this that ye may learn wisdom, that ye may learn of me that there is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ. Behold, he is the life and the light of the world." ~ Alma 38:9

"Light is good from whatever lamp it shines." ~ Author Unknown

In a letter that Aaron wrote to me while we were both serving our missions, me in England and Aaron in Brasil, we discussed with each other how much we both loved LightHouses. One of the reasons being what a lighthouse represents for us. Christ. This is why I designed the back of the headstone this way:


I couldn't have said it better myself. I love that quote from Aaron.

"I believe in Jesus Christ just as I believe in the rising sun; not because I can see it, but because of it, I can see everything else." ~ C.S. Lewis


I am so grateful for Light in all of its forms, everything that it represents, and all the ways we are blessed by it.

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# 22 ~ God & His Plan of Happiness

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God & His Plan of Happiness

I am grateful for God and His Plan of Happiness.

I wish I could express in words just how grateful I am for our Father in Heaven. I guess I will begin by writing about how grateful I am for the knowledge that I am a daughter of God. I cannot tell you how many times that knowledge alone has helped me through difficult times in my life. When I get down on myself or begin to doubt my self worth, all I have to do is remember that I am a daughter of God with divine attributes and I feel better. Not all at once, but if I keep reminding myself of that, then my attitude about myself begins to change for the better.

As soon as I began writing this posting, there has been something going through my mind and I can't seem to focus because I keep reciting it in my mind over and over. As teenage girls in our church, we belong to an organization called the Young Womens Program. It is amazing. I loved that time of my life so much because of the group I belonged to, the friendships I made, and the teachings and skills I learned there. On Sundays at the beginning of class, we always stood up and recited this:

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father,
Who loves us, and we love Him.
We will stand as witnesses of God
at all times, and in all things, and in all places,
as we strive to live the Young Women values,
which are:

Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice & Accountability
Good Works
Integrity
Virtue

There is more to it, but this is the part I was thinking about. Anyhow, when I am having a hard time, the first line runs through my head more than anything else does when I am searching for something to lift me up. I am a daughter of Heavenly Father, Who loves me, and I love Him.

When I mentioned in the title that I am grateful for God AND His Plan, I was referring to the Plan that He has for us. The reason why we are here on this earth, and where we are going after we die. Knowledge of God's plan for us is key to feeling contentment and direction in my life. When everything else around me in this world is chaotic and does not seem to make sense, at least I know the answers to Who I Am, Why I am here, and What comes next after this life. Having the answers to those questions make me feel like I can take on the world. It makes me feel loved by our Father in Heaven because He didn't just send us here for no reason... He has a plan for us because He loves us.

God's Plan of Happiness (click to read about it)

Knowing who I am and there is a reason that I am here... that certainly helps me through the tough times. With the anniversary of Aaron's death coming up, I have sure needed extra strength. I have been trying to stay extra extra extra busy so that I don't even have time to sit and think about it coming up. It is still there all month in the back of my mind, but I try so hard to push it away and not let it affect me. But, I hit a wall last night. I realized last night that it is only a week away. ONE WEEK. Times like this really force me to dig deep to find the strength to face what's coming. I know that my Father in Heaven is mindful of Aaron Jr and me and loves us so much.

We are all children of God... created in His image... we must be pretty special. Who are we to think otherwise?

I am so grateful for God. I love Him and I know He loves each one of us. And I am grateful for His Plan of Happiness. Oh the peace it brings to my life.

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# 21 ~ Warm Summer Days

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Warm Summer Days

I am grateful for warm summer days.

With the snowfall that just came down, I had to make today's posting about warm summer days. I think snow is beautiful and I am grateful for the moisture that we receive during the winter and spring, but I hate being cold. So, days like this make me SO much more grateful for warm summer days when I can take Aaron to the park or just do whatever else we want to do outside.

Just think about the mornings that you wake up and look out the window and the sun is shining... doesn't it just make a day feel so much better and so much happier? It does for me.

So, today I am grateful for warm summer days and I cannot wait until they are here again.

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# 20 ~ Innocence

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Innocence

I am grateful for innocence.

I know this is a strange one to add to my list... but the reason it came to be on my list is because of a book that I am reading right now. The book is called The Hiding Place. I am sure most people have heard of it, but until now, I have never read it. I came across a part of the book where the Father in this book says something to his daughter that really made me think.

Here is the excerpt from the book:

" Once--I must have been ten or eleven--I asked Father about a poem we had read at school the winter before. One line had described "a young man whose face was not shadowed by sexsin."
...the line had stuck in my head. And so, seated next to Father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?" He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
"It's too heavy," I said.
"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."
And I was satisfied. More than satisfied--wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions--for now I was content to leave them in my father's keeping. "

Once I read that father's words to his daughter, it made me really think. What do I allow Aaron Jr to see on TV or to accidentally see of a movie playing in the background. I don't watch horrible stuff, I just think that some of the seemingly 'innocent' things are still to much for a child to carry.

I remember in Junior High, I sat next to a certain kid in one of my classes. I was pretty shy, so I didn't talk much unless I had a friend with me in the class. This kid was not my friend, so I did not talk to him. But one day, he passed a note to me that simply said "Leslie is a _____." I will not share the word. Anyhow, I had NO idea what the word meant. I didn't know the kid, so I wasn't sure whether to take it as a good thing or a bad thing... so I just assumed it was not a great word. Well, it took me well over 10 years to know what that word meant. After Aaron and I got married, we were talking about a few of his friends in Junior High. He mentioned that kid who sat next to me who handed me that note... so I told Aaron about the note and told him what it said and asked if he knew what that word meant. Aaron laughed and then told me what the word meant. Luckily, I have forgotten what the word meant again, but when he told me, I remember it being a bad word that was very disrespectful to me.

I am grateful that I didn't know some of the words out there that kids were saying. There are still things that I hear sometimes that go right over my head... and that is just fine with me. I won't go into some of those times that things go over my head, but I know that some of my friends will laugh when they read this because of some of those times. :)

I remember times in my life when I have been told that I am 'sheltered' or 'naive'... and it is not meant as a compliment. But you know what? I take that as a compliment in certain instances.
Because of the day and age we live in, I am pretty sure that kids in our generation even know more than our parents about words and terms that people use sometimes... I give my parents credit for that. I want Aaron Jr to stay innocent for as long as possible.

Think about the burden that is placed on us when we stop having a childlike innocence and know way too much of the non innocent things that go on in this world. If I could UNsee or UNhear or UNknow some of the things that I have seen or heard or know, I would be so happy. That is why I need to protect Aaron Jr... and carry the burden of some of the worldly knowledge for now. I do not want that burden placed upon him too soon.

Here is an awesome quote that I have loved for many years. It goes along with this message:

"There is a beauty every girl has, a gift from God, as pure as sunlight, and as sacred as life. It is a beauty all men love, a virtue that wins all men's souls. That beauty is chastity. Chastity without skin beauty may enkindle the soul; skin beauty without chastity can kindle only the eye. Chastity enshrined in the mold of true womanhood will hold true love eternally."
~ David O. McKay

I think there is a fine line between being protected from the world and being informed of some of the dangers out there in the world. BUT, I am grateful for childlike innocence. My hope is to keep Aaron Jr 'sheltered' and innocent for as long as possible.

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# 19 ~ 'Gentle' Reminders to Pay Attention

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'Gentle' Reminders to Pay Attention

I am grateful for 'gentle' reminders to pay attention.

Okay, so the other night, I was on the phone for a few minutes and like I often do when I am on the phone, I was cleaning up the house while we talked. As I was squatting down to clean up a few toys or whatever, all of a sudden something hit me square in the face with speed and force that brought on some quick and intense pain. Aaron Jr, who was standing not far from me, had thrown something right at me on purpose. It was actually the paper weapon thingy in that photo above. The corner of it hit me right by my eye and it really hurt.
Instead of losing my cool, I simply said, "Aaron, are you kidding?" His simple response was, "I wanted to tell you something." We had to have a talk about the proper ways to get someone's attention. :)

* Side note: Tonight, Aaron saw me cropping that photo of that paper weapon thingy and he said, "Mom, was that the thing I threw at your face last night?" I told him yes. Then he asked, "Why did you take a picture of it?" ~ Pretty funny. *

Anyway, later that same night, Aaron was sitting next to me watching a movie while I was on my laptop. This one makes me laugh so hard. At one point, I gave him a tight squeeze and told him that I love him, then I went about my business on the laptop checking emails and such. Then Aaron snuggled right up to my arm and wrapped his arms around my right arm and layed his head against my arm. A few minutes later, he stood up next to me and stepped gently and carefully onto my lap and placed himself in the tight spot between me and the laptop that was on my lap... he squatted down into my lap and I started to laugh and asked him, "Do you want me to hold you?"
Again, he simply said, "Yes."
So, I put my laptop down and happily held him tightly until he was the one to want to do his own thing.

Those were two experiences that happened within a few hours of each other that made me more aware of my need to pay more attention. I thought that sitting next to each other and watching a movie while working on my laptop wasn't a problem... but it wasn't enough for him. And it shouldn't be enough for me. He deserves more.

One more... earlier tonight, Aaron was sitting next to me again watching a show and he kept fake sneezing. Each time, he would spray spit drops and I tried to tolerate it. After about the tenth time, I finally asked him to stop and he said, "Say Bless You." I didn't know that was what he was waiting for. I always say 'Bless You' when someone sneezes, so I guess he just expected to hear it even if it was a fake sneeze. Once I laughed and told him 'Bless You', he stopped 'sneezing'. This little boy makes me laugh so much.

Because I like to try to tie life experiences into life lessons... I wanted to compare this to the gentle ways that the Spirit tries to speak to us. We have to be paying attention in order to feel or hear the Spirit. The three ways that Aaron Jr tried to get my attention were way more blatant than the way the Spirit usually tries to get our attention. We have to be paying attention. I found this neat quote tonight on the subject:

"The Spirit does not get our attention by shouting. Occasionally, the Spirit will press just firmly enough or often enough for us to pay attention; but from my experience, most of the time, if we do not heed the gentle feeling, if we do not listen with those feelings, the Spirit will withdraw and wait until we come seeking and listening, in our manner and our expression."
~ Boyd K. Packer

So, tonight, I am grateful for the 'gentle' reminders to pay attention. They definitely give me a wake up call sometimes. I hope I can start to pay closer attention to the needs of Aaron Jr before he has to throw stuff at my face or put his 50 something pound 4 foot tall self on my lap or spit on me.
I would never want to miss out on those moments and have him withdraw from me and wait until I come to him... like it said in that quote about the Spirit. I hope the same thing about the Spirit. I hope to live so that the Spirit never withdraws from me.

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