Friday, February 29, 2008

Three Months...

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Today, it has been three months since Aaron passed away. I wanted to do something special today, so I took Aaron Jr and Ode over to see Sheila (Shayla). Sheila is Aaron's horse. Aaron got Sheila a few years ago and fulfilled his dream of owning a horse. When I first saw Sheila, I was so excited. I thought she was the most beautiful horse ever. I have always loved dark brown horses. Aaron loved Sheila so much. He would go horseback riding often and he really loved to be up in the mountains on his horse. He was amazing with all animals, but before he passed away had recently been working at a ranch with troubled youth. He was doing equine therapy and was able to work around horses and youth all day long. He loved horses and he loved helping people, so they went hand in hand. He adored his job.
This is the first time I have gone to see Sheila since Aaron passed away. It was emotional being there, but I was so happy to take Aaron Jr and Ode there. Aaron was always excited to take Aaron Jr to visit the horse and he fully planned on Aaron Jr loving horses like he did. Aaron Jr loved the time he spent with his daddy feeding the horse or even taking little rides on her. When we got there, Sheila came right over to us. I am sure she recognized Ode and even something about us even though we didn't spend as much time with her as Aaron or Ode. She let us pet her for a while. She had her winter fur on and she looked so cute. We love her so much.
After Aaron passed away, I tried to think of who should get Sheila. It had to be someone who had a place for her, someone who lived close so that Aaron Jr and I could still see her often and so that Aaron Jr could ride her when he gets older. It needed to be someone who had gone horseback riding with Aaron and Sheila. So, the only person that could have been was my sister's husband, my brother-in-law, John. John went horseback riding lots of times with Aaron. They shared a love of horses and often talked about when John would be able to purchase a horse so that he didn't have to borrow one every time he went with Aaron. When I asked John if he would be interested and able to take on a horse, he seemed very grateful. He said that he had wanted a horse for a long time, but this wasn't the way he wanted to acquire a horse. Gaining this horse this way meant that he didn't have Aaron to go horseback riding with. Aaron is the person he went with every time, so now, he has the horse, but not the friend to go riding with. It is interesting the way life works out sometimes.
I am SO grateful to John and his family for taking Sheila. She needed a home and I am SO glad that she can be with family so that Aaron Jr can ride his Daddy's horse. Thank you John and Lisa.




We also took Ode with us. I wanted to talk about Ode for a minute as well. Aaron has owned Ode since he was a little puppy. It has been about 12 years. He is an older dog and is the best dog in the world. He is the most obedient dog you will ever meet. Aaron and Ode have been the best of friends for so long. Ode would be up at the door wagging his tail when he heard Aaron's truck coming down the street. He loved him and it is heartbreaking seeing him have to live without his best friend. Aaron treated Ode like a child, he loved him like a child. When Aaron passed away, there wasn't even a question of who would take care of him. If I could keep him at my parent's house, I would love that, but I can't... so Aaron's parents have Ode. I am grateful to them for letting him live there. They love having him so much and he knows that home. That has been his home before when Aaron lived there and now it is his home again. It was the only thing that would have made any sense. We miss having Ode with us every day, but Aaron's parents only live a couple of blocks away from my parents, so we get to see Ode often. We love him and when we are around him we feel a little bit more of Aaron around us.
Three months... I am not going to express how we are doing now as opposed to the first month. Each day... each moment is different. I know that time is eventually going to help with the wounds. It will always be painful when I think of what we have lost, but time will help us to focus more on the wonderful memories we have with Aaron.
We miss Aaron so very much, but how blessed we are to have Sheila and Ode in our lives who Aaron loved so much to remind us of him. And how blessed we are to have family to help to support us and to lift us up when we need help. Between family and friends and the Savior... we can make it through anything. I will never 'get over' the loss of Aaron, but I know that I will 'get through' this trial because of the strength I receive each day from those who love me.

Aaron... we will love and miss you Always...

*Thanks to Dan for taking the photos of Aaron Jr. & Me.

15 comments:

Sadie Joy said...

I am so happy to see you had done this. I can just picture Aaron watching his little family and favorite animal friends, remembering him on such a beautiful day.

Brenda said...

I love you Leslie! "They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." God doesn't take away sorrow, but He gives us the strength to go on. He carries us until we are able to walk on our own. I'm praying for you!

Karey said...

What a nice afternoon to go remember Aaron. Aaron Jr. is so cute with the animals. We love you and continue to pray for your comfort and strength. Take care of yourselves.

Matt & Shauna said...

I love those photos! I am so glad that you shared your day with all of us. You look so beautiful and Aaron Jr. is as cute as ever. And.... Happy birthday, today. I love you and think and pray for you and Aaron Jr.

Joann said...

What a wonderful post, Leslie. It is so great to know that some of Aaron's favorite "people" are well taken care of. I am also glad that they are with people who will really appreciate what they mean to you and Aaron Jr. Justin always admired the great relationship that Aaron had with Ode. What a pair! I hope you had a good day yesterday. I can't think of a better way to spend a gorgeous day like yesterday. Love you! Happy Birthday!

K&K&kids said...

Looks like a nice day for you and Aaron Jr. What a nice way for you to remember Aaron. The pictures are, of course, adorable! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love ya.

Vicki said...

I love your pictures. Your pictures remind me of Jeff's family. They have 3 dogs and then some horses at their farm. I'm glad you were able to show Aaron Jr. And Happy Birthday today!! :-)

Tawnie said...

Love you Leslie. This was a nice post.

Amber said...

Les,
I had to just drop you a line to wish you the best birthday! I appreciate and love your blog so much.....thank you!
Amber

Mindy said...

I love the pictures of you and Aaron Jr. with Sheila! Leslie, I am so glad that I can be your cousin, and have the privilege of knowing you. :) Love you!

Mindy said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday, you beautiful woman!

Matchbox Mom said...

Leslie,
You don't know me, but i've linked over to your blog several times from Bryce and Tammy Brown's blog. I don't know her either! haha, i'm like a blog stalker!! LOL
I just wanted to say that I am amazed at your perspective and your wonderful attitude. I am so sorry for your loss, but what a beautiful baby boy you have! I want you to know that total strangers are praying for you and Aaron Jr.
Hope all is well for you and your handsome boy.

Tami Peterson

LL said...

guess what. the 5 days in Ut, I kept thinking I WANT TO GO SEE LESLIE but I hesitated because I didn't know what I could bring you or say or whatever. Well, I got home and that night had a dream that I stopped by and just gave you a hug and cried with you. Now I'm wishing I would have done that, just to let you know how much I love you and think about you. I really do check on your blog each day, I want to see how you're doing. You continue to amaze me. You're beautiful inside and out.
Thinking of you

Kristi said...

3 months. Time plays tricks on you sometimes. It seems like it has been longer, yet I still sometimes can't believe it is real. The reality of your loss hit me in a different way the other day, before you even came up here.
I am glad that you can still hang onto those things that Aaron loved so much and that they can still be in your and Aaron's life.
We love you guys.
There you are, sitting on my couch :)

Lorianne said...

What a treasure to have Ode and Shayla around to remind you and Aaron Jr of Aaron. He did have a way with animals. Such nice pictures. You will get through everything with the help of the Lord. Love you and wish I was sitting on Kristi's couch right now......Love, Lori