Nine Months...

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Six years ago, Aaron and I were on our honeymoon. Aaron took me to Florida and the Bahamas. Everywhere we went, we stayed at the nicest places and ate at the nicest places. Aaron wanted us to have the best honeymoon ever. Well, mission accomplished... it was the most amazing honeymoon I can imagine. What he didn't realize, though, is that no matter where we went, it would have been the greatest honeymoon... because I would have been with him. Here are some of the highlights...

Aaron and I build this 'sand flower'. I love that he was willing to build whatever I wanted to build.






One funny memory of the top left lighthouse: it is called the 'Ponce de Leon Lighthouse'. On our drive to go see it, Aaron kept saying the name of the lighthouse in the best foreign accent he could muster. I would say it normal and he would say, 'No, no, no... its Ponce de Leon.' I can still hear the accent in my mind. I tried desperately to get him saying it on video, but he always managed to catch me when I would secretly turn the camcorder on. It is one of my favorite memories from this trip... he was so happy and playful and it was so much fun. We had a great time together.




These last two photos were taken on August 29, 2002... exactly six years ago today.

I still can't believe the time that has passed since Aaron passed away. It feels like yesterday, but at the same time, it feels like an eternity.

Instead of focusing on the difficult feelings these days bring, I wanted to write about a blessing happening in our lives. I want to share my gratitude.

When Aaron was here with us, I was a stay at home mom. I am still a stay at home mom. I have done a few things to try to make a little extra money to pay our bills, but nothing that comes close to covering it. We are receiving survivor benefits from the government, but even that doesn't cover our bills each month. I am not writing this to get sympathy about our finances, I am trying to share our faith promoting experience and the love of our Father in Heaven.
Somehow, we are being blessed to be able to cover our bills each month. Each time I think we won't be able to make it the next month, our tax return will come, or we will receive generosity from kind people, or Aaron's truck sells, or else some of Aaron's furniture will sell at his mom's store. (of course not the furniture he built, I could never sell that... other stuff he bought to resell.) When I brainstorm about our bills each month and how much we have, it doesn't make any sense that we are being able to pay them. I have been reflecting on a scripture all month long that explains why we are being blessed in this way.

Malachi 3:10 reads:

'Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.'

I am writing this for the sole purpose of sharing my faith promoting experience of the law of tithing. The fact of the matter is... things don't add up in my mind and I don't want to question the blessings we are receiving. We are paying our tithing, we are being helped to meet our needs... and I am grateful.
I can't express the gratitude I feel for the loving and giving people who have done so much for us, through word and deed.
Our Father in Heaven knows our needs; each of us individually. He is mindful of us all. I know this.
Yes, we are going through a trial that I wish we weren't having to go through. It is difficult, it is painful, it is heartbreaking... everyday. BUT, we are being blessed as well. We are receiving the promised blessings from the Lord. He is giving me strength and courage that I didn't even know I was capable of having. Some days, I don't feel strong or courageous; those are the days that I still go through the shock of wondering if this is even real... days that I am still waiting to wake up from this bad dream. But other days, I feel the strength and courage that I am being given by our loving Savior and I am able to look at the world with hope.
And for this, I am truly grateful.

Missing you more and more, Aaron. I love you...

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