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Well, I thought this photo was appropriate this month since Aaron Jr. has been talking about how his Daddy is fishing lately.
Eleven months, WHAT?!?!?! As the year anniversary approaches, I am getting more and more emotional again. I have been able to go days without showing much emotion about the everything, but as the one year mark approaches, I am crying more and feeling much more like I did in the beginning after Aaron first passed away. The original emotions are coming out a little more knowing we are approaching the time when Aaron will have been gone a full year. We are approaching the time of year again when our final memories with Aaron happened a year ago. All year long, I have been able to show photos of what we were doing last year, or a couple years ago... but after November 29th, we will no longer be able to look back a year ago and have any memories of us with Aaron. I hate that.
I was talking to my sister in law, April, yesterday and I told her that I wished I could have FIVE do overs with Aaron. I wish I could choose FIVE experiences I had with Aaron and do them again. At first, I thought I would want to do over the greatest of our experiences together. Maybe take our honeymoon again and have it be the same as it was and just be able to relive it again. But, then I thought about it for a moment and I realized that those memories of our good times together were already great to look back on. So, I decided that I would actually choose FIVE of our worst experiences together and do them over. There are so many regrets I have that come with the passing of Aaron, I would want to go back and redo those times when things could have been better if we had known what we know now. Those bad memories could be changed into wonderful memories. I would love to have FIVE do overs. BUT, since I can't, all I can do is decide now to learn from those regrets and not have those regrets with anyone else in my life. Life is precious and how we choose to live it is precious. We don't know how long our loved ones will be with us... no matter what... it will always feel like they were taken WAY too soon.
We love you, Aaron... truly...
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