Sunday, November 2, 2008

Thank You...

* * * * * * * *
“God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”
- Spencer W. Kimball

It is the middle of the night, but I just need to write. I am sitting here with a heavy and painful heart, but also with a heart full of gratitude. I can't stop crying long enough to get to bed, so I thought I would write on my blog. Lately, I have felt like I am suffocating just like I did in those first days after Aaron passed away. I think I am doing better than I was in those first days, but I have been having a very difficult time lately.
Tonight, I need to share some gratitude for all of you...
I need to say that my family and friends have played a key role in helping me get to this point in this 'healing' process and I am grateful to them all. I hope they all know how grateful I am. Their prayers, their advice, their love, their help and comforting words have been SO valuable to us.
I also have to say that those of you who have been reading my blog all this time have also helped me. I do not know how many people read my blog. I DO know that a lot of you who read it do not add a comment... and that is okay. I love knowing that you read it because I just love knowing that people are getting to know the man we are missing and the man we love.
Those of you who read our blog and write comments to us, you have no idea how helpful you have been to me. There are so many strangers who have reached out to me and have offered their comforting words and also their prayers in our behalf. Often times, I will be up late (like tonight) reading through my postings and looking at photos of Aaron and I will see a new comment left by someone that I hadn't seen before. This happened twice tonight. I don't always leave comments on the blogs I visit, so I totally understand when people don't want to leave a message, but I just felt like I needed to thank those who have expressed their love and hope and prayers for us. You will never know how much it has meant to me to feel the love from family, friends, and strangers... who don't feel like strangers because of the love they offer.
I am truly grateful for all of you.
I am humbled by the generosity of your loving spirits and I thank you all.

I love you, Aaron...

* * *

32 comments:

kristen said...

No need to thank any of us. You are so very welcome and offer us so much by teaching us what life is all about.
It's just so sad how quickly it can also change.
Keep on smiling.

Thinking of you
Kristen

LL said...

I agree with Krist, it's you we're thankful for. YOU have opened up and shared your life, feelings and pain with us. WE have learned so many important life lessons from you. THANK YOU!
I'm glad you feel love through our comments, that's always my intention. I want you to feel love, support and encouragment!
I hope you were able to get to sleep and enjoyed sweet dreams.

Tabitha said...

I agree totally with the above 2 comments ~ no need for thanks here either!
You have become a friend through your blog and I have learnt such alot through the words you have written here.
Take care,
sending love and hugs XXXXXXX

Clippy Mat said...

Leslie:
I haven't commented for a while on your blog but I always read it. YOU are the one who is helping others as you go through your journey. Your progress is inspirational and everyone who reads your blog is humbled by it and is also hurting a little with you for what you have gone through and for what you continue to go through. Also your pictures are unbelievably beautiful.
Sending you warm hugs and prayers for your continued courage.
:-))

The Kimball Herd said...

Loving our Leslie.

Brent and Autumn

k.m.b. said...

amen to every thing said thus far. you are amazing and really have helped build me up more than you know. so thank YOU!

Valeri said...

I think if anyone should be thanking anyone, WE should be thanking YOU! You are such an incredible example to the rest of us of what it is to endure to the end, keep your chin up, and rely on the Lord in tough circumstances. Every time I look at your blog I feel both heartache (for your loss), but also a huge uplift because of your attitude and how you've handled everything. I appreciate your honesty and never candy-coating the situation. You say it like it truly is, and that is so important. As I've said before, this blog is going to be cherished by your son in years to come. It's so good you're documenting your feelings along the way - all of them! I think it's therapeutic for you and has probably helped you more than you even realize. I promise you're helping others you don't even know, and reaching out to them in ways that other people (who have never been through something like this) never could. And so for that, I say thank YOU, Leslie (and I think I speak for many).

Hope you were able to get some sleep.

Kristi said...

I love that I can check your blog to see how things are going for you, not just what you are up to, but how you are feeling as you go through the mourning.
I hope things are going well in Chicago.

Momza said...

The truth is, we all need each other...like Pres. Uchtdorff's cousel to "Lift Where You Stand"...you lift us by sharing your experience and hopefully we lift you by sharing the journey with you. We all gain from each other. Just like Father wants us to. Sending good thoughts your way...

Jennifer Miller said...

You may have been by yourself while writing that post last night but you were not alone! With time, it does get easier, even if we dont want it to. Love and miss YOU Leslie.

Leslie said...

Thank YOU!
Thank you for showing me that life IS too short. Sometimes we dont know how short.
Thank you for being a great mom to that little Aaron.
Thank you for showing that there are great men on this earth and Aaron was one of them
Thank you for being so candid with your postings.

Im sorry this is a trial you have to go through. You are a great woman and carry this well.

Tiffany said...

You will never know the lives you touch from afar. May the Lord continue to bless you, especially over the next few weeks.

Michelle said...

You will never realize how reaching your impact has been. How much we are all lifted by reading your thoughts. You remind us daily of how much the Lord blesses us. You don't need to thank us, we need to be thanking you. God Bless especially through the next few weeks.

Cloward Family said...

I read your blog often....I am always just so sorry that you are going through such an awful thing...but there is hope. Hang in there this next month.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad it all helps Leslie, because I feel so inadequate sitting here reading your pain and not being able to make it go away.

Big hugging arms encircling you from afar.

Love,

Jane

Marc and Megan said...

I, too, am one of those who feels so grateful for the impact you have made in my life. I appreciate your courage to continue to live life to the fullest, and to share your journey with us. I'm still praying for you... and thinking of you often. Love and hugs, Megan

Seesalou said...

i love you.

Seesalou said...

i love you.

Liz said...

Leslie I am sorry you feel this way again. I love you and pray for you always.

Joann said...

This month is going to be a hard one. But, I hope that you feel some of our love buoying you up. I am honestly grateful for your friendship and the impact that Aaron has had on my life. We love you and we love your Aarons. Our prayers will be with you (a little extra) this month. Love you!

Lara B said...

Hi Leslie, I am one of those readers who has never had the opportunity to meet you, but I think of you often and always check your blog to see how you and Aaron Jr. are doing. I pray that the Lord will continue to bless and comfort you. You are an amazing person and I hope for nothing but fabulous things for you in the future.

Katie B said...

I can't even imagine what you are going through, and I hope I never will totally understand.

I am grateful you are willing to share, for those of us that tend to take things for granted....
I find myself checking in on you, not just for you but for me. It is a great reminder for me to not be so irritated with the "little things" (Like his dirty socks and constant clutter) and just be grateful he is here with me, and he chooses to be!

You have touched my life. Thank You!

Annalee Kelly said...

I am one of those who reads your blog regularly (in fact, your blog is on my sidebar). Neal A. Maxwell said, "All crosses are easier to bear if we keep moving."
Hang in there! Much love, Annalee

Anonymous said...

Another stranger who prays for you and your son. Another who feels
uplifted by your strength and example. Another who is grateful to have the perspective you give.
Another of the host of voices that
offer love, support, and friendship.

Be well!

The Curl Family said...

We were just commenting last night about the fact that we haven't seen you for a while. Your old bishop and his family still care very much about you and Aaron Jr. We pray that you will be comforted and blessed according to your needs and the will of the Lord. I know the Lord knows you and loves you, as a whole lot of us do. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer Bowman said...

Leslie, I always read your blog but haven't commented for awhile. You are amazing to me and have taught me to take in and cherish everything thing in life, every moment I have with my loved ones. I am so grateful to you for that. Your strength, testimony and words move me everytime I read them. I feel close to you even though we have never met. You truly are an example to me and I thank you for that.
My prayers continue to be with you and your sweet boy.

Anonymous said...

I read your blog everyday. I worry when you don't post. We've never met but I am a mom who lives in Cottonwood Heights. We've never met and as far as I know have no friends in common. I came across your blog by accident, saved it and read it often. I am married, have three kids and think of you often. I hope you know that even those you don't know care and send their love.

Sandra

Matt and Shauna said...

Hi Leslie, Just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I am thinking about you. Hang in there! You are going to be okay. love ya and miss ya loads!

Rhitzclan said...

Keep holding on...

Love you.

Anonymous said...

My dear Les...I often visit your sight...I love your dear family.
I am coming up on an aniversary my self... my dear Dennis's passing... even though he was not taken as quickly as Aaron...I thought in the eight years we had to prepare for his passing I would be prepared. Your words comfort me on my blue days.
I just wanted to say I love you and thank you for the opportunity you have provided me to be able to read your most sincere thoughts and reflection of dear Aaron. In many ways you are helping those of us who still greive but are not able to express in words the way that you do so beautifuly. Time heals... but I will be honest in saying the pain really never goes away completely. You will celebrate the love you and Aaron shared everyday in the life of your sweet son and how lucky he is to have you as his sweet mother.
You are truly blessed and a blessing to those of us who you inspire.
Love...Patty Ahleen Thomas

Natalie said...

Leslie-I, too, read your blog on a regular basis. I never post because I can't ever seem to think of what I could possibly say to help such an inspiring woman. Please know that there are so many of us who wish the best for you. I admire you in so many ways. I am grateful for your willingness to share your life with all of us. Thank you and I love you!

Kim said...

Leslie, You don't know me, but I can't get through any of your posts without getting choked up--even with the lighter ones! You remind me every time that life's seemingly smallest moments are so full joy...and it seems that pain only intensifies the bright, joyous moments when they come along. Thank you for all you've given me.