Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Random Thoughts

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I cannot believe how crazy it has been since my computer crashed back in January. I finally started getting photos together again to post. I need to catch my blog up... it is on my mind daily and once I get that done, it will be a huge relief. School is out this week and once it is over for the summer, I plan to get my blog caught up. I do wish I had been writing on here more often even though I didn't have photos to share yet.

Life has been so busy. School for Aaron, work for me. Aaron has had an interesting year at school. He had some issues with a certain boy in his class... I am hoping it is resolved. There haven't been any problems lately and what a blessing that has been. I am more happy when my boy is happy. I am praying that next year is a great year for him. This year he learned so much. He went from being able to sound out some small words to being able to read almost any word that is put in front of him. It has been wonderful watching his mind expanding and being excited about all of it.

I became a first time aunt at age 11. I now have 45 nieces and nephews on my side of the family. Well, yesterday, I because a first time GREAT aunt when my oldest nephew and his wife had their first baby. They had a girl and named her Jane. She is sweet and adorable... and I cannot believe I am a great aunt. What?! I had such mixed feelings about it all yesterday... I was so excited for a new little baby to join our family and so happy that mother and baby came through it safely... but I was also feeling very baby hungry. (as if that is news to anyone :). I am so happy for my nephew and his wife. My parents are GREAT grandparents and my brother and his wife are a grandpa and grandma. WOW.

On both sides of the family, there are 7 kids that were born in 2005, Aaron being one of them. They are all turning 8 years old this year. So far this year, there have been 4 baptisms, one of which was this past weekend. With every baptism this year comes some anxiety about Aaron's baptism. He will be the last one of them to get baptized this year. The anxiety comes from wondering who will actually baptize him. I had hoped to be married again by now and Aaron's new dad would be the one who Aaron would choose to baptize him, but nope. I know in the end it less important who performs the baptism and it is more important that the baptism happens at all... but Aaron has watched and will continue to watch each of these cousins get baptized by their dads this year. So that tugs at my heart. He said to me last week that he wishes that Daddy was here. Then the other night, I asked him what some of his wishes are and one of them was that he wishes he had a Dad. He knows what he is missing. I hope he gets a Dad someday, someone to bond with, someone to look up to, someone to teach him how to be a great husband and father. Someday.
(if anyone out there knows of a great LDS guy in the right age range with the right morals and character, send him our way. :)

I found this draft post that I had never posted and figured I would include it here in this random posting. I wish I could remember when I typed it out, but I think it might have been back in April:
~So, on the way home tonight, I was sidetracked and then began hearing bits and pieces of the poem 'star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight'. By the time I was paying better attention, Aaron finished his choppy version of the poem and then while he was staring at the brightest star in the sky, he said 'I wish for a brother and a sister'. (on his second time through the poem, he asked for a brother and a sister and a dad). My heart breaks every day for my sweet boy. I hope he gets what he prays and wishes for someday. I sure love him.~

Tonight, I watched a movie called 'The Impossible'. It is a true story about a family who was caught in the tsunami in Thailand. WOW. As I watched the movie, I was moved over and over by the experiences of the mother and her oldest son. I couldn't help but put myself in that mother's situation and I kept feeling powerful emotions about what she might have been feeling as she experienced that with her son. It made me cry over and over and over. That mother and son helped each other survive. I cannot tell you how many times Aaron Jr has done that for me. He has been my hero so many times in this journey through grief and sorrow. He has been such a super hero in my life. Since I last wrote, I have been doing better more often. I have had a couple of difficult days where tears were shed, but my dark days are just that, dark days... instead of dark weeks. My sweet boy is one reason and another reason is Jesus Christ. He is my light. I'm so grateful for my blessings.

My blog. I have missed writing on my blog. I have missed it very much.
There is so much more that has been going on these months, but as I get my photos ready to post, I am sure there will be many stories that I need to share that will go along with those photos. I look forward to sharing them and catching up on my blog posts.

Until then...

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Mindy said...

The Impossible had so many life lessons, didn't it? I loved the bond the mom and oldest son developed as they helped each other survive. It was beautiful.

Prayers for you and Aaron Jr, always. Love you!

Mindy said...

I just had a thought... take it for what it's worth. Do you know a man in Aaron Jr's life who hasn't had the opportunity, or been able to have kids? Maybe he is just as sad at the prospect of never baptizing one of his own as you are at the prospect of Aaron Jr not having a dad to baptize him. Maybe they could fill that need in a small way for each other?

Anonymous said...

love you both so much. LMH