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To be honest... I am not quite sure what I am feeling tonight. I have so many mixed and jumbled emotions lately, I don't have any idea how to put my thoughts into words tonight.
So, I guess if anyone wants to know how I am doing and I had to answer right now, I would refer them to months ONE through SIX and call it good for tonight. Everything I am feeling is a combination of what I have already written, especially this posting back in January. Some nights I literally cannot stop weeping, so I end up sobbing until I am too exhausted to continue.
I try my hardest to hide it most of the time, but I am still broken inside. Life is so uncomfortable. There are so many things that keep coming up and coming at me that bring more and more pain on top of what I already feel. Things that I wouldn't have to be dealing with if Aaron were still here. And things that he would comfort me through if he were here. I just don't know how much more I can survive. Thank heavens for Aaron Jr. who, when I look at him, I am reminded that I have to survive it.
Time = healing ? ? ?
I miss you more than ever, my Menino... I love you.
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