* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I have been wanting to write this experience down for a long time. A blogging pen pal of mine inspired me to finally write it down and I couldn't imagine a better day to do it than getting it typed out tonight.
I believe I have written before about the difficulty we had getting pregnant... and that it was the miracle of artificial insemination (A.I.) that finally gave us the blessing of a baby.
Well, 7 years ago TODAY, March 21 2005, was the very day that the artificial insemination took place. It was the day that they told it I was ready for the procedure to take place... the day when I was running around from one place to another... from Orem to Salt Lake to pick up an important medication that I needed, then back to Orem to bring that medication to the doctor so they could give me a shot, then back home to Lehi to wait for the shot to take affect, then back to the doctor in Orem with Aaron and his "sample" so that they could do the A.I. I was stressed, and excited, and scared, and so very hopeful. When we got there, they took the "sample" and said they were going to prepare it for the A.I. We had to wait for the doctor to be done delivering a baby at the hospital... so we waited in that waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. I was pacing back and forth, and watching the clock like a hawk... wondering if it would be too late by the time the doctor finally got there. It was past closing time and everyone had left except us and the nurse who had prepared the "sample". She could tell I was going out of my mind, so she finally let us come back to the room so that I could change and wait for the doctor and be ready for him to get there. I am sure she figured out why I was so worried because she asked me to come out into the hallway and asked if I wanted to look under the microscope at the prepared "sample". When I looked at it, I was so relieved that it looked fine and that it was not going to be too late. Anyway, the doctor finally got there and the A.I. was performed and when we left there, I had hope and faith that it would finally be our time to be parents.
They told us that day that we should wait until about the 6th of April before we took a pregnancy test so that we didn't take one prematurely and be let down by a negative test.
So, on the morning of April 6th, I went into the bathroom and took the pregnancy test. Aaron's mom had given me a cool one that will say the word PREGNANT or the words NOT PREGNANT on the little screen. As I waited, I kept forcing myself not to watch it, I didn't look until I was sure it would have an answer on it. When I looked at it, I cannot express the JOY and the gratitude I felt inside of my whole being as I read the word PREGNANT on the little screen. I went into where Aaron was sleeping and I woke him up to tell him the miraculous news. Then I went to call my parents and other family members who were waiting to hear.
The beginning of my pregnancy went pretty good, I got to hear the heartbeat a few weeks later and again I was overcome with JOY and gratitude. That little heartbeat was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard with my ears. I have never heard anything that made me so happy. I had the regular nausea and other pregnancy related things in that first trimester, but I could never complain because every moment of nausea was a reminder of the tiny little miracle growing inside. I cannot think of one word of complaint that I uttered during that whole pregnancy because if I ever even thought of something to complain about, I felt guilty because of how grateful I was to be having those pains and discomforts as more reminders that I was finally receiving the blessing I had been dreaming about and praying about for so long.
Well, at 13 1/2 weeks along, I thought things were going great... I had slept over at my parents house one night and woke up feeling a little strange. I didn't know what was wrong, but I went to stand up and as I stood up, I started to hemorrhage blood. The amount of blood that was coming out of me was so scary and I ran to the bathroom sobbing. My parents heard me crying and came and knocked on the door to ask what was wrong. I told them what was happening and I was freaking out. I have never ever been that scared in my whole life. I knew that the baby had to be gone... I just couldn't imagine a pregnancy surviving after losing that much blood. I will try to hold back from all of the details, but I will just say it was A LOT of blood.
When I came out of the bathroom, my mom was ready to run me to the emergency room, but first my Dad and my brother, who was also staying at my parents house, gave me a priesthood blessing. I should have written this all down back then (shame on me), but I believe in the blessing, I was told that everything was going to be okay... among other things. I felt more calm after the blessing as we went to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital, they checked me in and did some tests and then took me down to the room where they do the ultrasounds. I was still so scared. All I cared about at that point was that the baby was fine and was still there. I just needed to know that. As the lady did the ultrasound, I was so overJOYed at what I saw. There was the little tiny baby... as active as could be. The ultrasound technician was impressed by how active the baby was and said that the baby was looking healthy and strong. That ultrasound was the most amazing one I had ever seen before... it was more clear than any I had before that or after... I could see the tiny hands and fingers and the perfect looking head and legs and feet. My mind was put at ease.
I wish my things were not all packed up from moving... I would love to put one of those ultrasound photos on this posting, but it would take hours to find it... so I will put it on here when I ever come across it... someday. There is one where he looks like he is waving at us. So perfect.
Once the doctor came in and was showing me on the ultrasound photos all of the things he was looking for, he seemed surprised that he could not find where the blood had come from. I don't remember the words he used, so I am only going by memory here about what he said about it all... but if memory serves, he said that usually when a pregnant woman was bleeding that much and if the baby was fine, he would usually be able to see pockets of empty space in the placenta or something... where blood may have been and then was released. But he couldn't find anywhere where the blood came from... and the only thoughts that go through my mind when I think of that is, of course...
A priesthood blessing was given to me...
and YES! a miracle had taken place...
and my baby was healthy, strong, and growing perfectly!
Oh the JOY!
A few months later, we found out we were having a little boy and then on December 1st, two weeks before the due date, our beautiful and healthy Aaron Jr was born. He has brought more JOY into my life than I could have ever imagined.
I cannot express the love I have for Aaron Jr.
He is a gift.
He is a gift.
He is a treasure.
He is a precious miracle.
I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for sending him to me.
* * *