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This is the fortune I pulled out of my fortune cookie on New Years Eve Eve. As soon as I pulled it out and read it, I thought it was a perfect New Years fortune.
As I have thought about this fortune, at first I looked at it and thought that it would fit better once I meet a great guy to sweep me off of my feet who is an amazing husband to me and a spectacular father figure to Aaron Jr. After Aaron passed away, I have constantly felt like my life will 'begin' again once this happens... once I feel like we have a complete or more traditional family life again.
I am ashamed to say this, but up until recently I have had a hard time calling just Aaron Jr and me a family. Not only has it been difficult to call ourselves a family, but I have not even thought about us as a family in the literal sense of the word. I also never wanted to have a real 'family' photo taken of us until our family felt complete again.
A couple of months ago, Aaron Jr said something that humbled me and woke me up a bit. I wish so badly that I could remember the whole conversation we had, but I do remember the end of the conversation that really hit me hard. Aaron Jr must have asked me a question about someone in particular where my answer to him was something about them being a family.
After I answered him, he asked, "Like WE are a family?"
He meant himself and me. After he asked this, it was tough for me at first, but then I said, "Yes, like WE are a family."
Isn't it amazing that we, as adults, can be taught such simple principles from our children?
Of course we are missing someone very important in our family and there is always going to be a void, a gaping hole, where Aaron is supposed to be in our family... BUT, the fact that Aaron Jr thinks of us, just the two of us, as a family is reason enough for me to change my way of thinking and adjust my attitude about what can be called A FAMILY.
I looked up the word 'family' in the dictionary the other day when it was really on my mind. It said:
fam*il*y ~ a group of people closely related ~ a group consisting of individuals descended from a common ancestry ~ a household
We miss Aaron so much. He is a huge part of this family. But since he cannot be with us right now, it is okay for me to call us, the two of us, a family. Aaron Jr thinks of us as a family... and he taught me that I can think of us as a family as well. And ever since that conversation when he taught me that... I have felt it and believed it.
Which brings me back to the fortune. 'You are just beginning to live.'
We do not need to wait around for life to begin. Each of us has the power to begin each new day with a resolve to LIVE. No matter what happens on any given day, we can wake up with a fresh day ahead of us. We can have a clear and new outlook on our future. A future filled with hope.
Tomorrow I plan to make a sign that says 'You are just beginning to live' and put it by my bed.
So, I resolve this year to wake up each day with hope in my future and the attitude that I am just beginning to live... that each new day is fresh. No matter what went right or what went wrong the day before... I am going to start new each day. Because each sunrise means another beginning.
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