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We had an experience today that was exciting. Aaron Jr. went poop for his first time ON the toilet. I swear he had been holding it in for the past four days not wanting to go poop on the toilet. But today, he kept begging for a popsicle, but I kept telling him that he couldn't have one until he went poop on the toilet. He tried several times with no luck. But then, in the middle of the afternoon, he went into the bathroom again and ran downstairs to excitedly scream, 'I did it!'
I said, 'You did? Show me.'
So he led me to the bathroom and presented his accomplishment. He was so happy. I WAS SO HAPPY! I let him have TWO popsicles.
Later on in the afternoon, as I was putting my Christmas decorations away and cleaning up the living room, Aaron Jr. found a binder that I made to keep memories in of Aaron. The photo at the end of this posting is on the front of that binder and also has another copy of that photo inside the binder. Aaron Jr. took that copy out of the binder and was carrying it around with him for a while. As I was going about my business cleaning, Aaron Jr. said something that caught my attention.
I looked back to see him and he was holding the photo up in front of himself and he was looking at it. While he looked at it, he said, 'Dad, I went poop. Dad, I went poop. Dad, I went poop.'
I think he said it a few times, if I am not mistaken. As he continued talking to Daddy in the photo, I walked over to him to listen to him. That is when he said, 'Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up.' He said that a few times and kept shaking the photo after each time to try to wake up his daddy.
I have to say... hearing him telling his Daddy the exciting news that he had gone poop put a smile on my face, but at the same time... it broke my heart again. As I was telling this story later, I sobbed as I thought about this sweet little boy who only has a photo of his Daddy to talk to. I am sure Aaron is around us... I bet Aaron Jr. even has interactions with him... even if just in his dreams. But, it is heartbreaking and unfair for this sweet little boy who doesn't understand why his Daddy is not here. The way he told his Daddy that he went poop was just as though he was sitting on Aaron's lap after he got home from work and was telling him the exciting events of the day. In his sweet little Aaron Jr. voice...
I love this little boy. He is my joy.
Having hope and faith that you are here with us, Aaron... especially during these milestones...
We love you...
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