Friday, February 27, 2009

Popsicles for Poop ?

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We had an experience today that was exciting. Aaron Jr. went poop for his first time ON the toilet. I swear he had been holding it in for the past four days not wanting to go poop on the toilet. But today, he kept begging for a popsicle, but I kept telling him that he couldn't have one until he went poop on the toilet. He tried several times with no luck. But then, in the middle of the afternoon, he went into the bathroom again and ran downstairs to excitedly scream, 'I did it!'
I said, 'You did? Show me.'
So he led me to the bathroom and presented his accomplishment. He was so happy. I WAS SO HAPPY! I let him have TWO popsicles.

Later on in the afternoon, as I was putting my Christmas decorations away and cleaning up the living room, Aaron Jr. found a binder that I made to keep memories in of Aaron. The photo at the end of this posting is on the front of that binder and also has another copy of that photo inside the binder. Aaron Jr. took that copy out of the binder and was carrying it around with him for a while. As I was going about my business cleaning, Aaron Jr. said something that caught my attention.
I looked back to see him and he was holding the photo up in front of himself and he was looking at it. While he looked at it, he said, 'Dad, I went poop. Dad, I went poop. Dad, I went poop.'
I think he said it a few times, if I am not mistaken. As he continued talking to Daddy in the photo, I walked over to him to listen to him. That is when he said, 'Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up. Daddy, wake up.' He said that a few times and kept shaking the photo after each time to try to wake up his daddy.
I have to say... hearing him telling his Daddy the exciting news that he had gone poop put a smile on my face, but at the same time... it broke my heart again. As I was telling this story later, I sobbed as I thought about this sweet little boy who only has a photo of his Daddy to talk to. I am sure Aaron is around us... I bet Aaron Jr. even has interactions with him... even if just in his dreams. But, it is heartbreaking and unfair for this sweet little boy who doesn't understand why his Daddy is not here. The way he told his Daddy that he went poop was just as though he was sitting on Aaron's lap after he got home from work and was telling him the exciting events of the day. In his sweet little Aaron Jr. voice...
I love this little boy. He is my joy.



Having hope and faith that you are here with us, Aaron... especially during these milestones...
We love you...

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14 comments:

Momza said...

Aaron is there with you and Aaron, Jr.--why wouldn't he be? You are an eternal family. You are an awesome Mommy and you certainly are not alone! Sending good thoughts and congratulations to Aaron Jr.--he deserved 2 popsicles!!

Kristi said...

When Spencer told me this story last night we just sat there and cried. How wonderful for little Aaron to be such a big boy but how heart breaking that Aaron doesn't have his daddy in the flesh to revel in the moment with him.

K and K and kids said...

That breaks my heart, Les. He is such a sweet boy and I bet he has so many wonderful dreams about Aaron that it feels like he is there with you. So sweet that he wanted to share his accomplishment with his daddy. Pooping on the potty is a huge step, especially for boys (my boys were all almost 4when they figured it out). Give him all the popsicles it takes! Love you, Les.

Lisa (seesalou) said...

wow. that feels like a punch in my gut, it's so sad. good for him. love both of you! no...love all of you.

Natalie said...

Such a bittersweet accomplishment. Thinking of you always.

Joann said...

Oh Leslie! You had me laughing so hard and then crying the next second. I am so happy for Aaron Jr's success and so sorry for your pain. Keep looking for the positive! Love you!

Tabitha said...

It is great that Aaron Jnr went poop on the toilet ~ he certainly deserves 2 popsicles!!
It is so sweet that he talks to the picture of his Dad ~ yet heart breaking at the same time.
Love and hugs Tabitha XXXXX

Anonymous said...

That made me cry, so I can only imagine how your heart was breaking. So sweet, too, though. I am glad that he has so many many photos of his Daddy.

Love to you,

Jane

Joann said...

I just wanted to wish you another Happy Birthday! Just so you know how much I love you and think of you. I hope you have a fantastic day.

Allred Mom said...

Way to go, Aaron Jr!
That is so exciting! Being a mother of boys, I can totally relate to boys not wanting to go "Poop"!
I'm positive Aaron is with you in each of these milestones and cheering also!
That's the gift of "eternal"!

amanda said...

Yay for Aaron Jr. That is very exciting in a mom's life. So yay for you too:)
And I know Aaron is with you all the time. It's really hard to believe sometimes but I'm sure he is helping you more than you know. If only we could know huh?
Love that you just took your Christmas decor down:)

Alesha said...

I'm so happy for you guys! I'm potty training my little guy now...what a fun adventure that has been...lol. Congrats that he figured it out!

Kate, Randy, Alek, Hank, and Cash said...

Hello, I was directed to your blog through a comment on my blog. I lost my husband January 6th, 2009 and I also have a little boy who was born 07/07/07, he was 19 months when Randy passed at the age of 26. Uhh for the love of God people tell me "time" makes it better, but mercy I cannot see that. Thank heaven for Alek, he gets me up and moving every day. I appreciate you sharing your story. You have a beautiful family. Your a stong woman also.
Trying to SMILE
Kate

Misty said...

I stopped by to catch up on your blog again. I have to tell you.... it's one thing for us Mamas to hurt, but to witness your own child grieve can bring us to a new level - to our knees. I think about our baby dieing, and I feel like I can get a grip on that, but to see the children grieve that loss.... it's almost too much to bare. Thinking of you a lot these days!