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Okay, so I had a rough day today.
It wasn't ALL bad... of course just bits of it were difficult so at one point this evening, I finally let it all go. I cried really hard for the first time in a while. Aaron Jr was downstairs watching a movie and I was sobbing upstairs because of my difficult day finally breaking through my emotional wall I try to carry around. The floodgates opened and I just let my emotions out. This month is difficult anyway with the anniversary of Aaron's death approaching very quickly. There were several things today that tried to set me off, but the thing that finally did set me off was when some things that need done around the house were brought to my attention. Things that wouldn't be a big deal if Aaron were here... he would have been able to take care of them without any problems. So I was missing him a lot because it was just another thing that brings his absence to the forefront of my mind.
Anyhow, (I know I have at least one reader that has issues with me crying in front of my child even if it doesn't happen very often, so that reader or readers might want to stop reading here) Anyhow, Aaron Jr came upstairs while I was crying and he asked why I was crying. I told him that I miss Daddy. He asked me to stop crying and then he left for a bit. He came back in holding something up to his mouth and stood in front of me like this...
...and he played a few notes on his harmonica. IMMEDIATELY, I started laughing and I pulled him over for a hug. I asked him if he was trying to make me happy and he said yes. I told him that it worked and that he made me SO happy. Suddenly the issues I had been crying about did not seem to matter at all. All that mattered was standing right in front of me with a harmonica in his hand.
(of course this is a reenacted photo... and don't mind how dirty his shirt is :)
He and I had a great laugh together after he played it a second and a third time. I just don't know if there is another kid that is as sweet as my son. I hope I deserve this precious boy. I do try to deserve having him in my life. He has been extra loving and extra sweet lately. He has always been sweet, so saying he is extra sweet is saying a lot. He tells me he loves me out of the blue ALL the time. He gives me hugs and kisses even when I haven't asked for one at that moment. He is such a blessing to me. I am so blessed. He truly is The Sweetest Thing.
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