Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Is Aaron Jr. Comprehending?

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First of all, let me tell you how often Aaron Jr talks about his Dad. Every time he thinks something is really cool, he says that his Dad built it or made it... or whatever. It is obvious to me that his Dad is a hero to him based on the way he talks about him. It is brilliant. I try to talk to him about his Dad often so that he feels like he knows him. He seems to feel that way.

Anyhow, Aaron Jr. was pretending to read something tonight and as he dragged his finger across the page under the words he was 'reading', one of the things he 'read' was, "and my Dad is dead. and... ". Then he just went on to 'reading' something different.
This is the second or third time I have randomly heard him say that in the last little while... so, I wondered if he was finally ready to talk about it. So far, I have just played it by ear based on when HE brought up subjects that relate to Aaron and where Aaron is.

So, I sat him down next to me and asked him, "If Daddy is dead, where does that mean he is?"

So he said, "Tell me."

I said, "That means Daddy is in heaven. Do you know what heaven is?"

He said, "It makes people feel better."

So I said, "Yeah." and asked him, "Who else lives in heaven?"

He said that I do, then he said the he does... but I told him, "Not yet, but Jesus lives in heaven."

It is interesting that he would say that heaven makes people feel better, because in most of his prayers lately, he prays 'bless Jesus to feel better'.

He was getting antsy by then, so he wanted to play... so I let him go play. It makes me wonder what he will say the next time I ask him where Daddy is though. Because his answer to that question is almost always, "Daddy's at work."

It is surreal and heartbreaking to have to have this type of conversation with our 4 year old son... referring to his own Dad... but, he is a rock... and...

...he amazes me
every single day.

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Momza said...

Aaron Jr. certainly understands his situation on many levels, even if he doesn't have all the words to describe what he comprehends.
Your instincts are perfect for him, Leslie. You're doing this hard hard thing

Lisa said...

what a cute story. what a tender mercy that he is comprehending in such a sweet way.

LL said...

you are so good! he's blessed to have such a great mom to guide him through this.

Liz said...


Rhitzclan said...

Keep going at his pace. You're a brilliant mom! Love you!

Kristi said...

What a difficult thing for a kid to have to understand. Aaron is so super. We love him.

Cherish said...

Dearest Leslie,
My sweet long lost friend. Life was so much simpler when we were 13 and yet even then we did not believe it. You know one of my favorite memories was playing Balderdash with your awesome family!
I am so sorry about your loss. We lost my mom and brother that same year. It still aches and I can't imagine your ache. You sound like an incredible Mom and Aaron Jr. is beautiful!

Brandi said...

Your the best Leslie! You are always amazing me--By the way Happy Late Birthday.