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This is a photo taken at Aaron's funeral. I cropped it way in to focus on our rings. For a while after Aaron died, I wore his wedding ring next to my wedding ring. I would have kept wearing it longer, but it was so big on my finger, it kept falling off. So, I took it off to keep it safe.
I write about this now because this is my way of journaling and this is something that has been worrying me and has been on my mind for months now.
Well, when we were moving our stuff out of our house, I happened to have Aaron's ring and my ring in this little canister for safe keeping. As things were being taken out of our house, the canister got moved and I have not seen it since. My hopes, of course, are that one of my family members who were helping us move grabbed it and put it in one of the last miscellaneous boxes to be taken out to the truck... but this hope has not helped to calm my worried mind.
I went to all of the boxes that I thought the canister could be in, and it was not in those ones... so I got even more nervous. There are still many boxes to go through, but most of the other boxes were packed way before that last day, so I am getting so scared that I won't find them. Going through all of these boxes has been a task that is a little overwhelming to begin. Once I go through the boxes, I will not only be searching for our rings, but I will also finally be deciding the fate of so many of our things... so many of Aaron's things...
I have put this off so far because of not feeling ready, but I want to find our missing rings. So the task of finding the rings is going to win out. I feel a pit in my stomach and they are on my mind constantly. What if something happened and the canister is nowhere? I keep pushing this thought out of my mind, but it comes back all the time. I have been praying so hard that once I start going through the other boxes, I will find them... here's to hoping for a miracle.
I wanted to share a sweet story of Aaron Jr that goes along with this. I was talking to a couple of my sisters the other day about this and I broke down crying to them both about our rings. While I was crying, Aaron Jr asked if I was missing Daddy. I told him yes. After that, to try to take my mind off of it, my sister asked me if I 'wanted to go to Dick's' (which is a grocery store here in town called Dick's Market). As I was sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, I looked at her and laughed and told her that was exactly what I wanted to do right then. Because it got me to laugh, Aaron Jr was glad and, not knowing what 'Dick's' is... he assumed that word was why I laughed... so out of nowhere, he just said the word, "Dick's"... and that was it. As soon as I knew why he said it... I laughed and pulled him up onto my lap for the biggest hug and kiss. Then he asked me if I wanted him to sit on my lap? I said yes and just held him tight for a minute.
See how much joy this sweet boy brings to my life? I hope I am bringing joy to his as well... I am trying, but sometimes I feel like he is doing way more for me than I am for him. He is a treasured blessing in my life... and I love and adore him with all of my heart. I thank my Father in Heaven every day for him.
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