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I don't mean to be a downer tonight, but I am online wishing I had someone to talk to and since it is the middle of the night... my blog is it.
I am heartbroken tonight. I am not going to go into details about what happened to make me feel this way tonight more than other days lately, but I am having a night where I can honestly say that I hate my life tonight. I am so ready to not feel heartbreak anymore. I am just waiting to wake up from this nightmare. I am not saying that waking up from this nightmare would mean that Aaron would be back and all would be hunky dory. I know that isn't possible... but there are other things in life that would help to wake me up from this nightmare. I want to be happy again. And no, I don't need any lectures about how I should find happiness on my own before I can find happiness in marriage again. I know those things. I know I can be happy on my own, but no one can tell me that having someone in life to love and to love them back doesn't make one happier. I want that. I need that.
Yes, I wish Aaron were here and that I could be happy with him and Aaron Jr and just have our family together still... but that isn't possible. So finding happiness with someone else is what I have to hope for... and I want it. I feel like I deserve it.
Sorry to vent, I am just having a really really really difficult night and I was crying anyway and really needed to write some stuff out.
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p.s. I am so blessed to have Aaron Jr. to keep life in perspective a bit. He is such a blessing.