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Leslie, Kaylynn, Joshua, Kerianne, Rori
Tonight, I went out to dinner with some friends. There were supposed to be more of us, but things came up at the last minute for some and kids got sick for others... so we had a smaller group than we planned, but it was still fun to get together and chat. We missed all you girls who couldn't make it tonight.
I want to take a few minutes to talk about my great friends. I have been amazed throughout my life at the friendships I have made at all of the different times of my life.
There are the friends I met in all of my years in school, then there are the friends I met at work and just by chance meetings, the friends I met on my 18 month mission to England, the friends I met after my mission but before I got married, the friends I met because I married Aaron and I got to meet all of his friends and their wives, the friends that I met because they were neighbors of ours, there are the friends that I have made since Aaron passed away... some that I have met and some that I have not met, but wish I could. THEN, there are the family members that I call friends.
Ever since Aaron passed away, I have needed people around me so much more. My closest friends and family were there with me every step of the way as I felt so broken and scared about my life and about my future here without Aaron. The loneliness I have felt as I have tried to figure out what I am supposed to do without him has been overwhelming. All I wanted and needed when Aaron passed away was to have people around me CONSTANTLY. I couldn't be alone or else all of the emotions of it all started to close in around me and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed family or friends around constantly. The loneliness hasn't stopped, but I have come to a place where I don't need people around me constantly anymore. I am able to be alone more often and I am able to give more and more time to creating a greater bond with Aaron Jr. Like I said, I still feel more lonely than I have ever even imagined a person could feel, but I am able to be alone more often now without always feeling like I can't handle it. My friends and family have done so much to help me reach this point.
Here is a scripture that has been on my mind a lot lately. It has always been a favorite of mine. It says:
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Of course, the one who has sharpened my countenance more than anyone is the Saviour. He is a friend to us all and has done more for all of us than any of us can even imagine. I am so grateful for Him.
As I look back on my life, every person that I have ever considered a friend, old or new ... in one way or another... has helped to sharpen my countenance and has helped me to become the person that I am today. I am grateful for all of you in my life.
I love you, Aaron, my best friend...
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