My Cameras, Photography & Captured Moments
I am grateful for my cameras, photography and captured moments.
p.s. Since it is Veterans Day today, I wanted to add today that I am grateful for the men and women who have served and now serve and defend our country. They put their lives on the line for our freedoms and our liberties and we owe them so much... the very least being our gratitude. Thank you veterans! We are grateful. God bless you all.
This posting was originally going to be short, but since I use this as a journal, I decided to write down a little bit of my history with photography and cameras, so if that does not interest you, you can stop here. :) I am giving you an 'out'. :)
Anyone who knows me knows that it is rare for me to be caught without my camera with me. My camera might as well be surgically attached to my hand. I developed a passion for photography back when I was a teenager. I always wanted my own camera. For my 18th birthday, all I wanted and asked for was a camera. I didn't care what kind, I just wanted a camera. So, knowing how much I wanted one, my Mom sent me to the store with $20.00 and said I could use it towards a camera. I was so happy that there was a camera at the store for just $20.00. It was a 35mm camera and it was the greatest camera in the world as far as I was concerned. It took photos and it was MINE. All mine. I carried it with me everywhere after that. Even in my backpack at school. I took a TON of photos.
My parents bought me a new camera when I was leaving on my mission to England when I was 21. It was a way nicer camera and again, I carried it everywhere I went and took a TON of photos with it.
When Aaron and I were dating, I bought myself another camera that did not get used for as long as the others, because then digital came out a couple of years later. (still own it)
In the next few years, Aaron would go on to buy me three different digital cameras. I have to laugh about the stories behind each of these cameras.
When he bought the first digital one (a Panasonic 3.2 megapixel), I could not even fathom switching to digital from my 35 mm camera. I trusted 35mm and this new age invention, the digital camera, scared me. I liked the idea of putting in my film and having negatives. Seriously, digital scared me. Once Aaron convinced me to use it several months later, I was sold. I still have the 35mm camera and don't even know what to do with it. It is still a nice camera, but will I ever use it again? Hmmm... Anyway, we used the Panasonic 3.2 megapixel for several years. (still own it.)
Before I was ever pregnant with Aaron Jr, I got a job at a photographer's. I was trained in using Photoshop and also in other finishing touches for photos. It was fun. I really loved taking a photo from a raw image and helping to transform it into a beautiful print for a bride and groom or a family. I worked there for about a year and I am grateful for what I learned there.
When Aaron Jr was about a year old, Aaron bought me a new camera for Christmas. He found it on eBay and found a camera that was 10 megapixels and knew that it would be a huge upgrade from our 3.2 megapixel camera that we had been using for 3 or 4 years. He was excited to give it to me. When I opened it, I was so excited. It was a dream come true to have a camera that was 10 megapixels. In those next few weeks, Aaron and I struggled to understand some of the features. There were features that were just plain strange and then other features that we could not find or figure out... even with the instruction book. When he bought the camera, the word Panasonic was heavily advertised and he thought our other camera had worked great, so he went with it. Well, as those couple of months passed, I was asking my brother once a question about our camera and as he looked it over, he asked what that brand name on it was. I was confused. It said Panasonic right on the front of the camera, so ??? Anyhow, as we investigated more thoroughly, my brother and I had a good laugh as we came to realize the brand of the camera was 'SPEED' and it only had a Panasonic lens. When I went home to tell Aaron about it, he was shocked and just began to laugh. It was so funny. He had ordered it from a place over in Asia somewhere and I don't think he had investigated it much. In the right setting and light, it is a great camera, but struggles in some conditions. It was a funny story and continues to give me a good giggle. (still own it)
So, just one short month later, Aaron surprised me on my 30th birthday with a new Sony Cybershot camera. It wasn't the 10 megapixels we had been excited about, it was 7.2 megapixels, but it was a better camera. I think he was trying to redeem himself after buying the SPEED one. :) I couldn't believe he bought me another camera just 2 months after buying me one for Christmas. I was grateful and happy to have it. That is the camera we used until Aaron passed away later that year. It is the last camera to take photos of Aaron and our life together. (still own it)
I don't mean to always turn my postings into something sad or always bring it back to Aaron, but for some reason, it always comes back to that. He was and continues to be a HUGE part of our lives. And the absence of him is still so HUGE, so most things in life can still be brought back to a memory of him or a reason why we miss him so much.
In the past few since Aaron has been gone, there have been some very giving people... in so many ways. A few months after Aaron died, a lady who I used to work with gave me an old (but not very old) camera of hers that she didn't used very often. Knowing how much I love photography, she thought I would really enjoy it. It was my first camera that was one of the big, removable lens kinds of camera. It was a Pentax... and for that next year or so, it was so much fun to use. I LOVED it. It was for sure an upgrade from anything I had ever owned. (after getting my next camera, I sold this one to my Dad when I needed new tires)
A couple of years ago, a long time great friend of mine had a camera sitting around that he didn't use much at all and again, knowing how much I loved photography, he wanted me to have it. It was the Canon camera pictured in the above photo. That has been the camera I have used ever since... for almost two years. At first I told Josh that I didn't want him to GIVE it to me, that I would just borrow it. The reason being that I had another camera in mind that is a dream camera for me and once I had enough money, I was hoping to buy my dream camera and then I could give his back. He probably knew it would take me years to be able to afford my dream camera, so he told me that if I only wanted to borrow it, then I could borrow it FOR AS LONG AS I WANT. It was his way of telling me that it was mine... and if I ever got my other camera, I could give this one back to him. Well, here we are almost two years later and yep... I still have that camera... and I am so grateful for it. SO grateful. Anyhow, I have been very blessed.
Most people probably wouldn't care about their history with cameras, but cameras and photography are a passion for me. You would think I would be a better photographer by now with how many photos I take and how much I love it, but I just do what I want to do with it and I love it so much. I would love to do photography as a career where I make money taking photos that I love to take, but my insecurities get the better of me and I just can't bring myself to do it. I always worry that the photos won't turn out, or the people won't like them... then I would feel guilty taking any money. But for now, that is okay. I love taking photos of family and friends and getting to do it that way for now.
Sometimes, my need for taking photos feels like a burden. I think I am addicted to taking photos. I cannot witness cute behavior of kids or great candid moments without feeling the NEED to grab my camera and snap some shots. Sometimes, I would love to sit in the background and just enjoy the moment by taking it all in with my eyes, but I HAVE to get up and take a photo. It is just who I am. I also love the challenge of getting just the right shot. It is so much fun. :)
In closing, I will tell one more MAJOR reason that I love to take photos so much. It is to capture moments. Moments of life that may have passed by without documentation. Because of my obsession with taking photos, I have some of the most precious and priceless photos of Aaron in the last 6 years of his life... the years we were together. I think of it as such a huge blessing that I had such a desire to take photos of so many seemingly unimportant moments of our life together... because now, the important AND seemingly unimportant moments are captured in photos and I am able to relive them all whenever I want and Aaron Jr gets to 'experience' those moments as well because he can see them.
I am so grateful for those captured moments... also known as photos.
~ ~ ~
Below: I thought I would include a photo of my dream camera. One that I hope to own someday. Someday... but in the meantime, I am so grateful for the one I have. SOOOOOO grateful.
* * *