Today I want to share that I am grateful for emotion. My own emotions and the emotions of those around us. A little experience I had last night is why I picked this to be grateful for today.
Last night, I was with my friend and we were also around some people who I have never met before. As we were talking and getting to know each other just a bit, it came out that I am a widow, which then led to loads of other questions.
These days, when I am sharing my story about Aaron's passing and how it has affected my life and the life of our son, it has become easy to share the story without crying every time. Sometimes, even when I am feeling the emotion welling up inside, it has become a bit easier to keep it at bay and hold back the tears and the quivering lip.
But last night, as I was sharing our story with these gals, one of them named Annie began to cry a little bit, then the fact that she was feeling the emotion and was willing to show it, made it so I felt a little more comfortable and I also began to get the quivering lip and tears in my eyes. I was grateful that she didn't try to hold back how she was feeling, because it made me feel more free to show my true emotions and that it does still affect me... and that I haven't become calloused to my whole situation and story.
It was really nice to feel the emotions welling up inside of me and letting them brim over a bit.
Doesn't it seem sometimes like emotion is contagious? I think so. When people around us are feeling joy and happiness and sharing it, chances are, we will also feel the joy happiness and enjoy it. When people are sad or sorrowful around us, chances are, we will also feel their sadness and share in their sorrow with them.
I have learned that it is okay to show the emotions we are feeling at any given time. By showing our emotions, it is like we are allowing people into our lives and allowing them into our hearts. If the people around me are feeling a positive emotion, then I tend to feel more upbeat and positive as well. If the people around me are feeling sorrow or pain, then it makes me want to know why so that I can share in their sorrow and develop a more compassionate heart and also helps me know how I can serve them... whether it is by offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or some other service that may be helpful.
Lately, I have actually been trying not to show my sorrow as often so that people don't think I am dwelling for too long or so that they don't think I am not trying to move forward. The moments that I AM feeling sorrow are, of course, fewer than they used to be. I am glad of that... but those moments of sorrow have become even more difficult for me as I have tried to bury them and pretend everything is okay. Then if I bury them for too long, my emotions end up erupting all at once, and at that point, the eruption is more difficult than it would have been if I had just been showing my sorrow in those moments along the way. I have no idea if that makes any sense... I am sure it will to some at least. :)
Anyhow, I am grateful for emotions. My own emotions and the emotions of others around me... whether it be JOY or SORROW.
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